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*lusky116
writes:I am a divorcee of 3 years now and just turned 50 this year. I met and have been seeing and much in love with a new significant for 8 months now. I live in NW Arkansas and he lives in S. Missouri. We are 96 miles apart but are weekend warriors to see each other except in bad weather or he is working overtime. We do forsee a life together somewhere in the future and both deeply desire that and we are not looking elsewhere for others. The problem is that he is very much settled with his job and home in a very small town so far from the civilization I need to survive and have a good job. He doesn't like the traffic where I live either and says he wouldn't come here. I am not neccessarily bound to this area where i live but certainly feel insecure about where he lives for myself. How can 2 people with such goodness together have such a geographical problem and get through it to be together? Should there be some kind of compromise between us or should I just go into his world and swallow my not so happy feelings about it? Does it take rocket science to overcome this problem?
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reader, Jovial  +, writes (23 January 2007):
 follow your heart but dont ignore your head, if u know this is the man you have been waiting for i believe your instinct are right. people say a lot of things and they dont usually remember half of it. i think they might be scared because they were there when your marriages went down the drain they witnessed the pain you went through thats why they are skeptical about it i dont think deep down they dont want u to pursue this they dont want u to repeat the same mistake thrice. so it is up to you whether you want to be happy with this man or you want to make people around you happy at the end of the day the choice is yours and the more happy you become they will see that you really deserve a third chance in marriage and they will be able to give you support you require. remember when a person is supportive of you doesnt mean they have to agree with u thats why we need objective opinions at some point so that we can know if we are making right decisions or not. dont be fearful everything will be alright have faith in your relationship and yourself.
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female
reader, blusky116 +, writes (22 January 2007):
blusky116 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThan you jovial for your prompt reply and very needful advice. There are few people in my life to be supportive to the personal level of my new relationship as most don't ever want to see me get messed up with a man like my 2 marriages turned out in their ends. Consequently the attitudes of marriage and or committed relationship scares a LOT of people around me! Deep down I KNOW that we are still at the relax and enjoyment stage of getting to know one another and just spend time together as much as possible but our bond is so good that there is a longing to be together for complete benefit to both, spiritually, physically, emotionally and economically. I pray that this year will be a good one for us both to grow and refine our together ideas. I had heard a statement from a wise elderly gentleman years ago that good things come to those who wait. Thanks again! blusky116
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A
female
reader, Jovial +, writes (22 January 2007):
hi there
fortunately it doesnt take rocket science. your relationship is still new thats why there is still a lot of "I"s only time will tell when u guys will be fighting over who goes where, during such time you will think country life is a bliss and a blessing and he will think city life and its noise and traffic dont matter as long as he is with u. right now enjoy each other, do talk about it though but let your feelings decide and dont stress, sooner or later you will know what to do. what you are facing is one challenge that long distance relationship has to endure it might break or strengthen your bond.
if u guys are meant to be u will know your way out in the end but if none of u wants to compromise the truth is it will change everything. a lot of people nowadays have long distance marriages i dont know how do they do it but u will hear them say a lot of communication and understanding topped with love is what determines their successful ld marriage. which means if u forsee a future together you do have a bright future together, whether you are in the same town, country, continent, planet or not.
good luck
jovial
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