A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for about three months. We've gotten more physical lately, and he's fingered me before. I'm thinking a blowjob or handjob is in the future, and I've read a million things online, but I'm just not comfortable yet. He hasn't asked for it, or let me really, but I want to do something for him in return, so I want to be ready for when it happens. How can I mentally prepare myself for it, and any suggestions about a first time handjob? Is it okay to ask him how he does it? It seems like I'm supposed to know exactly what to do, and I really don't have a clue.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2009): um just to let you know this is a guy. i just recently had a bj and im 14 the girl is the love of my life and i told her that i wldnt worry about anything unless she was comfortable with it.! thats all there is other than trusting eachother bc prople make mistakes!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2009): Sweetheart it seems like this is your very first time.I mean is it??? Because if it is then you might have to get yourself prepared like me=)
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A
female
reader, jessjess  +, writes (23 August 2009):
 Aw no I meant that looking back my thinking was a bit immature in a sexual sense. I was inexperienced about sex so that was what I thought- it would be 'unfair'. By the way I was 18 when I gave my first handjob so the same age as you :) Really you should just do things when YOU want to not when HE wants you to- simple! But when you decide you DO want to, he has to want you to too obviously. Try not to over-analyse all this- let things happen when they happen :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone so far, especially jessjess. Oh, also, I'm 18 and he's 16. But I look much younger than my age...and apparently I act younger too, because I am sort of thinking the same thing: "it would be a bit unfair to not reciprocate."
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 August 2009):
 Yes it is ok to ask him how he likes it. If you want so ideas I would suggest you read "Tickle his Pickle" by Sadie Allison. It is a nuggest of information and ideas!
http://www.amazon.com/Tickle-His-Pickle-Hands-Pleasing/dp/0970661126
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A
female
reader, jessjess +, writes (20 August 2009):
Aw don't stress! The most important thing is wait until you feel ready to and want to. When I gave my first hand/blow job to my boyfriend to be honest, I'm not sure I WAS completely ready. I mean I wanted to please him obviously because I really cared about him, but we hadn't been going out for very long. We had been good friends for about 6 months before though. But anyway, really I did it because he had fingered me and I thought he might think it was a bit unfair not to reciprocate (bit of an immature thing to think but hey!). I was pretty scared/worried too because I hadn't the faintest idea what to do! I didn't have time to think about it though so I just did it and it really was not at all scary! Quite funny looking back. Just start off slowly, make sure he is ok with you doing it obviously (you don't need to ask him just give him a little 'is this ok to do this?' look or something) and don't worry about doing it wrong or whatever. You can't really do anything WRONG- if he wants to show you how to make things better he will and just let him. There will be internet sites 'telling you how to do it' but really you shouldn't take them too seriously- if you just go with the flow things should come naturally...like kissing! If it's a little awkward at first don't stress cos it's normal. If you are feeling really insecure though then tell him and maybe he can put his hand over yours or something and help you until you get the hang of what feels best for him. Then when you feel comfortable giving him a hand job just do the same only incorporate a bit of kissing and licking etc into the fun! Simple! And remember to tell him what YOU like too because I'm sure he feels the same about wanting the best for you too. Also it is tricky for a girl to give a guy a 'better' handjob than they can give themselves because they know better than you possibly could how to make things feel the best. But if a girl they really like and care about goes anywhere near that area I don't think they will be complaining so don't worry! Good luck!
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A
female
reader, \m/J.D\m/ +, writes (20 August 2009):
 huni if your not ready your not ready, when the times rite you'll know and its quite plain sailing really. but your not comfortable so DONT rush yourself into doing it. JD
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