A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I am in a predicament and I don't know what to do. About six months ago, I had a row with my husband and went out to my friends party and got really drunk. My friend's husbands rather ugly best friend was at the party, he was really drunk too and we flirted heavily. He had heard me mouthing off about my husband and presumed we had split up. He told me I was beautiful and every guys dream, so I thought he was sweet and I needed to hear this after the day I'd had. I accepted these compliments. He almost kissed me, and I drunkenly told him I would if I was single, but couldn't because no way was I cheating on my husband, even if he was a total tool. He danced with me and others, but didn't try again. I felt awful, as I'd never behaved like that with another man since my husband was my first ever boyfriend.The next day my friend told me the guy was really embarassed and wanted to apologise, he only tried it on cos he was drunk. I've met him out with friends since and he just said hello and asked how I was. Six months down the line, my husband and I worked on our relationship and are currently in a good place. I told him the whole story, and he doesn't seem too bothered coz I didn't cheat. Trouble is now, we have been invited to a charity ball by my friend, and the guy is going to be there! I've told my husband, but it doesn't seem to annoy him and he's still agreeing to go. But I feel really embarassed. I don't want it to be awkward for anyone. My friend assured me that her husband wants to meet mine, and she thinks my husband will get on with him and his friend. I know nothing actually went down but I feel weird about the two meeting. I had been really looking forward to this event for months until I found out this guy is going, and the tickets were a fortune and I've bought an expensive gown. Should we just make our excuses and not go, or do you think we should just go and be civil!?
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best friend, drunk, flirt, friend's husband, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (28 September 2014):
 No harm no foul..let sleeping dogs lie.
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (28 September 2014):
 Nah, just go! You did the hard part - telling your husband about what went on. Now, they'll most likely be civil and minimize their own awkwardness, and you'll need to do the same. Consider it the final lesson in marital conflict resolution.
That's a lesson some people learn too late, when they get into a big fight with their partner and retaliate by going out an getting drunk and having a revenge affair or close to it. You avoided the fire by the skin of your teeth, and you did the right thing by telling your husband what happened.
I don't think it'll be too bad. Don't forget though - for a stronger marriage, never air your dirty laundry in public, meaning if you and your husband get into it, don't go out and broadcast it and never use another man's attentions to prop up your ego or bruised emotions from your husband. This time, you had someone making a pass at you and awkward is all you had to deal with...
It could have been much worse - you could have gone to the party, mouthed off about your husband, started flirting drunkenly, and your husband could have gotten a visitor while you were out in the ugly best friend's arms...and this visitor (aka a girl who overheard you at the party) could have seduced your husband telling him you don't want him and that you were cheating on him as they spoke. Don't laugh - that happens a LOT...you could have been regretting the almost-snogging with this guy, and your husband could have been revenge-cheating on YOU in your own bed.
I'm glad you've grown past this kind of nonsense. Keep working on the relationship. Be civil and decent, and then go home and jump into your husband's arms and make out like wild bandits until your lips have rug burn from too much kissing...and other things!
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