A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Problem is people seem to think i should of settled down got married and produced maybe 1 or 2 children in the process. Honestly that is just not how i feel. I have brothers and they have children and to me that is my family. I do not think getting married is the b all and end all. Love my nephews and nieces to bits and they often stay over when my brothers want a peaceful weekend. Love having them probably because the silliness comes out in me. Godfather to all of them ( all 6 ). Youngest is 7 now and asked me if i'm silly because i don't have a mummy to live with. Love them all to bits and where else would my brothers find a willing person to cover an occasional weekend. I really want my brothers to accept the fact that i may never find a partner and just leave me to my own Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Been there Now over it  +, writes (14 November 2015):
My dad had four kids...I'm the youngest at 64 yo. The four of us produced a total of one kid (my sister's son), and he isn't having any bio kids. My brother (3 years older) got kicked out of first grade...his problems got worse from there and my parents were going to divorce over the situation but dad had a heart attack and died at a critical point in that process. Both my sisters were alcoholics,adding to the family problems, and now I'm the only living person in our family save for my one nephew. So having kids looked to me as being problematic and something I should avoid. So I haven't had any. And am I probably the happiest person I know.
With me being the favorite kid (fairly trouble-free, great career, happy and successful), my mom was always after me to have kids. I never wanted to stress her out or make her feel sad, so I never told her why I was so reluctant. She finally came to terms with it when I was about your age.
By what you've written, it seems to me that you really like kids and would enjoy having your own IF you married a wonderful woman with whom you believe you could be happy with for the ever after. However, you haven't been so fortunate as to meet that someone. And if that never happens, you are fine with being single and enjoy the freedoms that come with that, in addition to enjoying their kids without having the pains and commitment that come with kids. Perhaps this isn't exactly how you feel, but what I am getting at is that a truthful, from-the-heart discussion with your closest or most understanding brother may be your best bet here. If you can convince him, he may convince the rest of the family for you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2015): You're a mature gentlemen, and you should have no trouble getting the point across that you are happy with your life as it is. As loving brothers and family, they want what's best for you; based on their lives and the status quo.
They notice the way you are with the children; and feel you'd be a great dad. When you're a bachelor, everyone assumes you may be lonely without a partner. Not to dismiss their concern about your sexual-orientation. That's usually the greatest motive behind it.
It's also actually a compliment; although it is very intrusive and presumptuous on their part to always comment about it. You just have to get used to it and shrug it off.
Let them know that their frequent references to your marital-status is bothering you a bit. They'll back-off. If they don't, show a little grit. Let them know you'll find what you want when you want it, and their coaxing and prodding has no bearing on your choices. They'll be the first to know whenever your status should change.
Best wishes, and no worries!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 November 2015):
 Just tell them.
"I don't see myself as a husband and father - I have "enough" kids with my nieces and nephews. It makes me happy to live my life THIS way. You are happy to live yours the way you like it."
"If I DO find someone special, you will be the first to know."
And leave it at that, and change the subject EVERY TIME they talk about you finding a partner or getting married/kids..
EVERY time.
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