A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:How can I overcome with the hopelessness and low self-esteem I feel due to being called ugly? I remember being a very happy, confident and fun child growing up. However, everything started going downhill since grade 3. During grade 3 I moved to a new school and people started calling me ugly, wide foreheaded girl, girl with a big fat square face(I'm not fat,It's my bone structure. It hurted my confidence, my personality, everything. Now in grade 10 I'm struggling with people skills. I have difficulties interacting with others because of how painfully shy I am. I don't believe that I'm ugly to a point where you'd want to puke when you look at me, but even my own mother calls me ugly. It hurts so much to hear such words coming out my own biological mother. I want to know how I can bring up my confidence and overcome such emotional pain.
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female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (4 April 2011):
 Dear friend,
I agree with [honestman] 100%. This is funny, but he's really being honest with you.LOL!
About the kids in your school, its irrelevant, unfortunately this is reality of school life, thousands of kids are being harrass at school for no reason at all. I know its hard to not pay attention when they're in your face everyday, but this will force you to become a very strong person.
Easy to say, but ignore your school mates, they're nothing, their opinion realy doesn't make any difference & doesn't matter at all. The kids harrassing you everyday are loosers, immature & be glad to know exactly who these kids are because you don't need to be friends with immature, dumm kids. You have absolutely nothing to learn from dumm kids. Don't waste you beautiful heart, brain thinking about these kids.
Remember that you're not the only one having this problems, thousands of kids your age around the world are going through similar situations & its up to you to control your life & happiness.
Remember: there's nothing wrong with you!
As you grow older, you'll meet so many good, amazing people. What's important right now is to concentrate in school, this is another reason why you should be the best in your class. Finish school, try to get into a well known university. The future depend on you, its in your hands rather you'll be successful & happy..
Show everybody what a beautiful, amazing person you are. Most importantly, DO IT FOR YOURSELF! God made you! You're unique & special!! Love yourself because God created you & he loves you, every bit in you!!!
As per your mom? Its very sad.. I don't understand her point? Don't argue with your mom, I guess she has the right in her opinion? It would been nice to have your mothers love & support, but if this is the person that she is, accept it & don't hold grudge or be mad at her. She's still your mother & just love her..
I want you to love yourself! Many successful, happy people didn't have support from family & friends, still made the best of the situation. I want you to become one of these successful, happy people, ok?
Good luck!
A
male
reader, honestman  +, writes (4 April 2011):
I'm going to tell you a story, I hope that you can relate.
There was this girl, who had a family where all her brothers and sisters were blond with blue/green eyes. Also, her father, mother, aunts, uncles, and cousins were also blond.
The only problem with her, is that she was born with the 'bad luck' of being born with black hair, brown eyes, and very skinny. Every body told her she was ugly. Even her family members thought she was adopted, or that they must have mistaken the baby when she was born. EVEN HER OWN MOTHER TELLS HER SHE IS UGLY.
She has grown up feeling ugly, and therefore, she has a very bad self-esteem.
This girl is my girlfriend. For me, she is the most beautiful girl in the world, and I tell her that every day. I don't lie to her. I really think she is beautiful, but she finds it very hard to believe. Also, most of the persons I know that have seen her think she is very beautiful, EVEN MY PARENTS.
What I tell her, is that, she CAN'T control what genes she got from her parents, but what she CAN control, is the way she thinks about herself, and what she does with her life. She can control and decide whether or not she will let other persons get her down.
So far, she is little more confident with herself, and have started to wear more feminine clothing. I really hope she some day feel better about herself and her image. Also, although she is hot/gorgeous, I'm not with her only for her looks, but also because she is very smart [I'm addicted to smart girls].
I think you can get better, if you just start to think you are beautiful at least for yourself, and start to love you for who you are. Even if your own mother is against you, you should stand firm, and don't allow anything or anyone stop you from getting the self-esteem you want to have.
Also, don't worry if guys turn away when they see you [that also happened to my girlfriend]. As you grow older, and wiser, guys will start noticing you. If you are confident, and smart, there will be guys that will feel attracted to that, and they might even find you as the most beautiful girl in the world [this actually happened to my girlfriend].
"I want to know how I can bring up my confidence and overcome such emotional pain."
If you want to build up your confidence, GO OUT! Stop watching TV or watching pictures on Facebook. Go to dance classes, join a club, go to libraries , bookstores, DO EXERCISE [this, believe it or not, produces endorphins, which WILL MAKE YOU HAPPIER ], help in charity, do something with your life. Keep yourself busy, and away of those who say you are ugly. You'll find very interesting persons on the way, and will help you overcome any pain you have. This is called occupational therapy, which is recommended to elder people because they think they can't do much... well, we can use this same idea with you, even if you are young.
THINGS WILL GET BETTER.
I hope you find this useful.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2011): Just tell yourself what sad nasty people they all are that they feel the need to bring you down.Tell your mother she is ugly on the inside - they all are - which is alot worse!
Your beautiful - so tell yourself that every morning in front of the mirror - hold your head up and smile. Bullies hate it when they don't affect you. x
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A
female
reader, Angel96  +, writes (4 April 2011):
the thing i can only say u that...don't ever lose hope..people are born to say bad words...but don't give a damn to them..best of luck!!!!!!
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