A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am a 22 year old female. I lost my virginity at a late age compared to others that I know. I was 20. I lost it to someone who I was falling in love with. The first time was very painful, I was cringing and he had to stop before he could even fully enter me. Also, looking back now I realize that we didn't have much foreplay, he went down on me for a few minutes before putting it in. I was extremely nervous and tense. We tried about once a week after that and each time he would rush into it. I never felt completely comfortable or aroused enough. There was one time it started to feel good especially when I got on top. But then I developed a urinary tract infection. Soon after we broke up for other reasons and I did not want to sleep with anyone else. I felt traumatized in a way. A year and a half later, we slept with each other again. I was celibate the whole time we were apart. Again, it hurt. Not as bad as when I lost my virginity but it was still painful. He said I was "tight". And things have not changed. He rushed into it, ate me for maybe 3 minutes before putting it in and was very rough in my opinion. I also have a condition called Fibromyalgia which causes pain throughout the body. Right now I am extremely nervous. I want to have a good, enjoyable sex life and I feel that this isn't fair. I am beating myself up about this as if it's my fault and my body is dysfunctional. When I have masturbated in the past, I can always reach an orgasm and it feels great, and usually after reaching an orgasm once, I feel as though I want to be penetrated and I am very wet. Sorry to be graphic but I just need advice about the pain. I am 22 years old and none of my friends seem to have experienced sex in this way. Everyone talks about how good it feels. Please help.
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broke up, celibate, foreplay, lost my virginity, orgasm, sex life Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Madalo 1  +, writes (10 August 2010):
Let him eat you till you reach your orgasm then he can penetrate-slowly.
A
female
reader, aparna  +, writes (1 August 2010):
i had same problem.
then we use to start foreplay for neraly 10 mins
go slowly,tie his hands,or do striptease,and mainly try to be on top as it helps a girl for better penetration.and do bit of masterbation if u fill it.
these all helped me hope same for you.
best of luck
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (27 July 2010):
You take control and slow him down. Make him lick you more, and get you good and wet. Make sure he does not try to just slam it in, but take his time and slowly push his way in, as you relax your muscles.
A hurry bird never builds a good nest.
Good sex takes time.
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