A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am best friends with a guy, now we're stuck in this fling thing where I really like him and I want something proper but I don't think he does. I've tried to make it stop and just move on as I don't want a fling, I want a proper relationship but I keep ending up back in the cycle and we keep pulling and spending the night together because the attraction is too much. How do I get out of it or get him to move it into a relationship? Plus he's never had girlfriend before, all I do is just end up feeling hurt cos I know we're not getting anywhere.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (24 November 2007):
 Why buy the cow when he gets the milk for free. You never give him enough time to miss you. Also, aside from the sex, do you address his other emotional needs?
The fact that you break away and get pulled back in is a sign that he can not trust you, not to get pulled in by some other guy you are attracted to at times when you might be unhappy with him. That is how a man thinks.
-Frank B Kermit
A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (23 November 2007):
 Recognize that the relationship is what it is and if it is not what you want in a relationship then you have to make your move. Sometimes we get into a pattern of bad behavior and it takes a broader view to change. I say move on, tell the guy this isn't what you want and MEAN IT. If he wants you he will come around. There is a slight chance that if he hasn't had a girlfriend that he does not know how this works. But please don't waste your precious time on something that makes you feel hurt.
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