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How can I move some of the workload onto myself during sex?

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Question - (10 November 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 10 November 2008)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

So this boy and I have recently started having sex. Now, previously we were both virgins, and therefore are ultimately inexperienced. What we've found out so far is the best way for us is missionary - however, this results in me lying there and him doing all the work. I HATE this, I mean we both still enjoy ourselves immensely, but I do end up feeling bad. Whenever I try and move at all or "thrust" back, I just end up screwing up the rhythm of it _;

So what I'm asking, really, is... how can I move some of the workload onto myself during sex, especially during missionary position?!

View related questions: both virgins

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (10 November 2008):

Danielepew agony auntFirst, I commend you on your interest :-).

Second, you're asking for advice on how to make the missionary position more enjoyable for you. That is OK, but I think you should go beyond that, and try every other position until you find the ones you two enjoy more.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2008):

I totally agree with "DoubleM" but I'd like to add that if you have music playing it is easier to move in unison to the beat. And I think music always adds to the ambiance of the act! Don't forget that "practice makes perfect"

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (10 November 2008):

DoubleM agony auntIf your partner is raised above you with his arms straight, as he should be most of the time, this would allow you considerable movement. You should be able to thrust upward in unison, and if you sometimes raise your legs high in a V-shape, or even tuck as in a cannonball position, you can "rock the cradle" with shared movement. But the missionary still remains largely the work of the male. Many favor the Cowgirl or woman-on-top position, which allows much more control of movement for the female.

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A male reader, oldfool Australia +, writes (10 November 2008):

oldfool agony auntHmmm.

I'm not sure what you mean by "workload". But touching him with your hands (gently on his back, nipples, hair...), pinching, biting, and scratching him (if he likes it), wrapping your legs around him, using your vaginal muscles to caress and hold onto his penis (this probably takes some work and training)...

Goodness, there are so many things to do! You don't need to be athletic, just sensual. The vagina is pretty important. Train those muscles! (I've mentioned this before, because the difference between a vagina that moves and caresses and a vagina that is just a wet hole is far more significant than the gymnastics you seem to have in mind).

Anyway, don't feel so pressurised about it. Enjoy and good luck!

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A female reader, that_one_female United States +, writes (10 November 2008):

that_one_female agony auntIf anything, go on top, even though it's not missionary, since you want to make things happen. Also, try having both of you laying down on yours sides while he's hitting it from behind. Both of you are doin work with this position.

When in missionary, try grinding a little, it's possible when on bottom. This add more feeling and pleasure as you two do some work.

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