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female
,
anonymous
writes: I was seeing a guy from work for about a year although he has a girlfriend of 3 years. They have a weird relationship and hardly see each other and he has always said to me and others that he has never thought she was the one but he has been with her for such a long time. I know it's awful that we had an afffair but we get on so well together and have the most amazing chemistry between us. As well as having great sex, we spent so much time together having fun in bars and clubs etc. I know he really likes me but he wont leave his girlfriend and i could not cope with the jealousy and he could not cope with the guilt so we decided to end it. We have said this so many times before but this time i know its over because i so want it to be cos i have had a lot of hurt over the past year. I still dont get why he wont be with me because i know how he feels about me. i think a lot of him is in denial.. i dont know.Its only been a couple of weeks and he has already tried to get me to go out drinking with him on a big night. He said things are weird between us and he doesnt like it but i feel in control and do like it. However, yesterday after work we went for quick drink cos i missed chatting to him.. it was so nice, we were having a laugh and flirting and i could feel the want between us. when i left i wanted to cry cos its so so hard. i want him so much and i dont know how to be, how to act etc. I want him to miss me and want me so much and see me as unobtainable. maybe then he will realise his feelings and do something. or i want to know how to control my feelings so that i move on and forget about him..i dont know.. im in a mess. please help.
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female
reader, Ne'cee +, writes (20 October 2006):
 dont be the other woman!!! Either he is with you or he's not. Put yourself in her position. You are not going to be happy and he is not going to be happy, and now there is a woman at home loving man thats not loving her. Even if he leaves her he'll do the same to you. Good luck on your decision.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2006): been in your shoe for over 2 years. he's got a live in gf of 10 years. he said the same thing, he doesn't love her and he's with her because he feels sorry for her that she doesn't have any friends or family. i hurt bad because i loved him and missed him. he tells me he will break up with her but he doesn't when. that was 2 years ago and i waited like a fool. it's been a month now that i don't answer his calls or text. it's hard to ignore him because i want him so bad. i'm afraid that if i answer his call he will tell me that he's sorry and that he's not ready to leave his gf. so i decided to end it. it helps me to think of all the negative intentions he had like he's a cheater, a lier, a player, a double face, a two timer sob, a coward, spineless, a jerk and more. come to think of it he is all of the above.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (17 October 2006):
 You are in for a world of hurt if you stay involved with this guy. He is just using you. There is no future with him. You'll never be able to trust him. He's a player, walk away. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (17 October 2006):
 If your lover said that his girlfriend was never the one,then why on hell is he still with her? I could understand it,if he had children with her but he hasn't.You said he couldn't handle the guilt if he left her,yet he doesn't feel guilty by cheating on her,this man has double standards when it suits him.I can see that you dont want to share him anymore so you will have to give him an ultimatum.He either finishes it,with his girlfriend so that you can have a proper relationship or if he wont leave her then you will have to end it.Yes it will be hard but what are you getting at the moment?...a bit of excitement and knee trembling sex,then off he goes back to his faithful girlfriend...you are getting the crumbs.While he does make up his mind,i suggest you stop all contact with him and no quick meetings with him,otherwise he wont take you seriously.Its up to you of course but why play 2nd fiddle to another woman,who he says he doesn't really want,strange that.
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