A
male
age
41-50,
*uma
writes:after a divorce,i quickly found myself in another relationship with a woman i met in the pub,she was really nice,had a good job,teacher,things started going really well and i thought id landed on my feet again,things went really well for a bit,id even go so far as to say i fell for her but then i started to get a nagging feeling about her like something wasnt quite right,she was always a bit shady with her phone id also see msgs come through from other blokes,she denied any thing untill she slipped up and said it was an 'ex boyfriend' a 'stalker',which i found a bit strange,any way things went from bad to worse,she was a heavy drinker she'd pass out on the settee and stuff like that,untill one nite we had an argument(yes we both had a few) and id left her to be on my own,went home went to bed then had a shovel throu the door,she barged in and started to beat the crap out of me in my own bed!!!!anyways i let that go because it was the first time and put it down to hormonesshe also got punchy twice after that and a couple of times i said we got to split,and on both times she pulled a knife out of the draw and went for her wrists,saying if i leave shed kill herself and all that emotion blackmail stuff.everyone argues and maybe i said a few nasty things,some times i think was it my fault??in the end i had to get rid,after having my face scratched up,which was hard because i got very attached in the beggining.but the thing is after a few months im still thinking about her,for some reason shes still in my mind,maybe im hanging on to the good stuff that happened,id say it was about 90% good.recently she has started hanging around the pubs basically in the next street,i feel i cant move on when i keep seeing her which dosent help.i really need to get her out of my head.help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2010): Do you deserve to have your face mashed up and be attacked?
Think back to a really good relationship that you have experienced (friend, lover, family), did they treat you like that?
I think that it is hard to accept when sombody treats you badly, especially when you have already developed feelings for them or when for some of the time they are ok. But is it really worth it in the end?
It is hard to let go and be left without a relationship. Give yourself some time to recover, get away for a bit if you have to. I know it is hard if you are feeling hurt and down but after a while maybe you could find some activities that put you in contact with people outside of her social circle.
You have made the first major step in getting away, for your own sake, keep walking.
A
female
reader, Rae1031  +, writes (23 October 2010):
Sounds like she has some serious issues. I would even go as far as to say it sounds like she has some sort of mental illness and that is not something that you can fix. Unless she seeks help on her own because she decides she wants to be a better person, she will never change - at least not for long anyway. She is probably hanging out close by to make sure that you bump into her. Save yourself from the heartach that she has already proven to you that she will deliver. Find new places to go and somebody new to go with. Thoughts of her will fade with time.
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (22 October 2010):
 Copy and print out what you wrote here and when you find yourself thinking on her simply re-read this paper so you can think on all the stuff she put you through.
If you were to go back to her would be a very bad idea and who knows if you would live to tell the story, since she is very violent. Stay away and keep safe she obviously have anger issues.
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