A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hello, i have very recently split from my husband of 7 years and am having real difficulty coming to terms with it. The main problem is that although we discussed and agreed to start trying for a baby during 2006, he has now (10 weeks ago) decided he doesnt want a family after all as he is not sure that he loves me enough or that he wants the extra responsibility!!. There seems to be no way forward and although i would have given anything for us to be able to work at our marriage he doesnt seem to want that at all. I am now left trying to organise our home and put it up for sale, he seems to want nothing to do with me and is making excuses everytime i have contacted him to see when he was coming to help me sort the house. I feel like ive never known him at all, he has changed so much over the past weeks. Was i supposed to give up wanting a family in order to keep him??. Just dont understand how i am supposed to move forward when there are so many unanswered questions. Please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2006): Wow after 7 years this man tells you he is going back on his agreement to start a family because he does not want the added responsibility, and maybe he does not love you enough! I know you must be really hurting and I am very sorry for your pain. What I want to say is that you are going to have to come to terms that your questions may never be answered because this guy has chosen to change his mind and kept you in the dark, which is really unfair, not to mention selfish and unkind....If I were in your position I would not even wait for him to sort out the house if he won't respond to your requests to do so, I would just put his stuff in a box and set it at the curb or take it to him or give it to charity, or sell it or what ever you deemed necessary since he does not seem to care at this time about it....if he is leaving you now it is really a blessing that you did not have children with him and then find out, because kids pay for adult mistakes...just know that he was not the right partner for you and you deserve a partner, not a man who expects you to give up all of your dreams just to keep him....I am sorry this did not work out for you, but try to go through your grief and you will come out the other side accepting things as they are and get on with your life...you WILL find love again, and you will have learned from this life lesson how to choose better the next time....a man that knows himself and would do anything to show his love for you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2006): I agree with KatyLouise. However, you should never give up on your dreams and wishes. If you want a happy marriage and children, do not give up on that! It's what YOU want and what you deserve!
But this man does not seem to want the same thing. You need to get him to help you sort out the house or whatever, but you need to find a new man who wants the same things you do - it does not seem to me that you will have children with THIS man.
There are plenty of men out there who want children. You just gotta watch out for them...
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A
female
reader, Katylouise +, writes (9 October 2006):
You need to call him and tell himyou need to speak to him and ask himto come round. You need to both speak openly like adults about your marriage and whether you both want to still work at it.
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