A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HI :)My boyfriend and I have been together for over 10 months now I’m 19 and he’s 22. He’s you're average guy he’s sweet, caring, generous and loving.However nowadays I’m starting to enjoy sex less and less with him, mainly because I feel like he doesn't put enough effort when it comes to sex. It starts off as normal foreplay, groping and fondling, but whenever we make love he seems to just lie there and not really do much whilst I'm on top doing most of the work, and once he’s done that’s when I finish myself off. And this is EVERYTIME we have sex. I'm not his first and he’s had other girls in the past, so this isn’t a lack of experience problem. I have suggested we try different positions which we do try for about a minute or two, but after a while its back to that same old position. Sometimes he takes ages to cum, and by the time he’s done I'm too sore and exhausted to finish myself off. I find myself just giving him blow jobs so that I don’t have to endure the whole thing. I really don’t want to sound selfish, but I can’t help but feel like he's being lazy and he should be putting the same amount of effort every time we make love.What should I do? Any advice will help and will be greatly appreciated
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2010): What happens if you do not go along with what he wants? if you do not give him a bj yet you do not get on top of him either. what will he do, if you become equally 'passive'?We tend to repeat behaviors that have worked in the past to get us what we want. If in the past he got what he wanted by being passive and not doing anything, because you would always see to it that he got satisfied no matter what he did or did not do, of course he'll stick to that in the future. why should he change anything?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2010): You say he’s sweet, caring, generous and loving. And you have to finish yourself off every time??!! Sorry to burst your bubble, but your boyfriend is incredibly selfish. I would dump him if I were you. Who needs a guy like that? You deserve much better! A guy who will go out of his way to make sure you are satisfied every single time you make love.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes my boyfriend is a little on the large side, but so was my ex and he was still able to satisfy me sexually because he put my pleasure before his own. What I want to know is how I can motivate him, how do I talk to him about this problem? Or is there something I can do?
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A
male
reader, billrocket  +, writes (25 December 2010):
since he is so lazy-as you say,make him orally satisfy you,before ,you go riding him.sorrry i dont know what else,to say.marry christmas,happey new year.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2010): If he's taking a long time to orgasm and he's not motivated, chances are he could have a psychological issue going on there. Talk to him outside the bedroom and find that out. Unless he's overweight, I dont see how else his sex life with you could suffer as it has. Good luck.
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