A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello all, I am a 23 year old female graduate student in a clinical psychology program. I am a first year out of state student, and I dont have any one that I am very close to in the city. The only people I know are my 12 classmates 4 of which are male and my co-workers at a psy. clinic that are way older than me. Im not very close to any of my classmates, as far as calling them on the phone. We all hang out from time to time as a group but thats about it. Lately I feel as if I am missing out on being in love and having fun with a synificant other. Graduate school has been very time consuming and I havent been on a date in about 9 months. But I am at a point in my life where I will have to make time for a relationship because I dont want to be successful but unable to find and maintain love.I am a virgin but I have had relationships in the past, but nothing beyond kissing. My question is how can I meet and date different guys in a new state?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2008): Thank you so much for your advice,it is great to recieve feedback from a male's perspective
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (19 January 2008):
 You're only 23 years old. Your life hasn't even begun yet. First of all, be proud that you're still a virgin. The problem I found in younger girls who loose their virginity the get "screwed over" is at 13 +, they begin developing real adult emotions, yet don't have the life experiences or maturity to deal with the trauma of being hurt.
If you're interested in meeting guys to date, and really establish a relationship, don't do so at clubs. Join outside school programs that are of interest to you. There are clubs and such in all areas. Don't be out there looking too hard. If you find someone who's really looking hard, under rocks and around corners and such looking for a date, they more than likely are desperate, and possibly a bit more dependent than what you may be interested in.
I've talked to people on this subject before, the "i wish I could just find someone and settle down" group. Realize this, the true catch, isn't out there really looking for a partner. The perfect relationship is this. Two people who all ready are happy with their lives and what they do, finding eachother allows them to share the happiness they all ready have with eachother. That way, neither one has the false hope that the other person will "make" them happy. They may not be looking for a partner, but it doesn't mean they are against the idea if they meet the right person.
I wish you luck, and it sounds like who you find will be real lucky to have someone like you. Remember this as well. In finding the right person, take time to find out who you are, your personalities and behaviors, and figure out what it is you're looking for in someone else. Too many, I've talked too basically look at someone "cute" "nice butt" yep, we're compatiable.
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