| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi all, I am a bisexual girl and would like to meet a girl. I hung out in alot of the lesbian bars for a long time but I am not attracted to those girls there are they are mainly butch looking, not to mention that it is always the same old crowd that go to these places. Plus I have never felt fully comfortable there as I am very feminine and a girly girl so tend to stick out! I am really not into the internet dating thing either so that isnt an option - I would prefer to meet someone in person.When I do out to normal places (ie straight bars/clubs) I see alot of girls that I am attracted to (like the usual pretty, feminine girls etc) Most of my friends who are BI always say straight places as the best way to meet girls, in fact they meet most of the girls that way.Anyway so does anyone have any tips on how I could approach girls in normal straight places???! I think by soceity's standards I am attractive, but I am not sure I am confident enough to approach someone....at the same time I am quite scared of making an idiot of myself! So any help or tips from anyone (girls with experience her or even guys) on how to approach girls in this way or test the water a bit or how to make a move or ice breaker or tips in these situation whatever etc!Many thanks!PS please dont tell me to try other gay places....believe me when I say I have been to most in the city and it is just not for me - same as online dating, hence why the best option is the meet people going out in a normal bar type place as I socialise in these places alot...so really only want advice on that!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, candice_candice01  +, writes (9 April 2011):
Well actually we have the same problem right now but I guess you already found the answer. Can you help me out about that? thanks so much!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2010): I am responding to the bisexual girly girl... I have the same problem as u,,,I am a girly girl but I am also attracted to girly girls... and ur right about the gay bars,, all the girls there have butches. I am not attracted to girls like that... I also do not know how to approach a pretty girl that I am attracted to because I'm afraid of being rejected and later talked about. I have many more fears of approaching a gorgeous woman cause what if she's totally straight, I just don't wanna look like a freak...
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A
female
reader, shampers  +, writes (21 September 2009):
Hi I used to have a lot of trouble getting dates with attractive bi girls and women so I understand your quandary. How to approach someone when you don't know for sure if she could be bi? You cnat. The only way is to dive straight in. Nowadays being gay or lesbian is quite acceptable to most people and especially females. Look the worst that can happen is they give you a dirty look or tell you to go away but most people will just say no thanks or I am not like that, sorry. Why not try and go somewhere you can ask someone to dance. There usually isn't enough males to ask to dance anyhow so an opening line might be. Hi, how about dancing? None of the guys are asking so how about it? Better than sitting alone all night. Anyhow you look a lot more attractive than any of the guys here..... laugh. .... If there is a favourable response mayvbe follow it up with. .....More chance if we are two girls dancing anyhow. Thet usually ask the pretty one to dance so you should be set. This often involves the response..... Youare gorgeous .. i don't think so. Thank you etc says you and you are half way there.
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A
male
reader, yb_ray  +, writes (19 January 2009):
Hi,
I read your message with great understanding, I'm more or less in the same situation, although I'm male, bisexual and seeking a bi female to couple with.
As you say it is very difficult to find, and the lesbian sene in BKK is dominated by butch girls fighting over the few available Dee girls. Also true is that they like to keep their inner circle as closed as possible. Your friends are right the best places to find bi femmine girls are at straight pubs, bar or disco's. I do know that many so called straight girls are actually also bi or at least bi curious - most of them are very shy and will not make any publicity due to the fact that in Thailand women are considered either straight or gay - bisexuality with women is not popular in the general public eye.
Anyhow you have a big advantage to be a girl, and I would certainly advise you not to be afraid or feel stupid when you flirt with another girl - you have a 50/50 chance that you will score.
For me on the other hand it's been a long way full with struggles not finding anybody that suits me + the fact that I'm bisexual myself, not that I'm gay - but I do have my sex fantasies and for me to realize this my best match is find a bisexual girl - I think you understand.
Anyhow if perhaps you would find or know somebody that is interested to know a guy like me - do let me know, I'm not selective they don't have to be a beauty queen just a sexy personality.
I wish you all the best in your search and do contact me if you wish further correspondence
Regards, Ray [email address blocked]
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2008): why not try going on a lesbian dating site?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008): I live in Thailand, and to make you more confident I would strongly advise you to come to Thailand for a holiday. There are many gay or straight bars around with many bi/lez girls (lots of fems), and I assure you that you will not make a fool out of yourself, as being Bi or Gay is very popular and widely accepted in society. It will give you a boost in confidents and also training in how to approach similar girls. Myself I'm married to a Thai bi-girl and she or we have no problems to find partners for long term or just for fun. Hope I helped you in the right direction. If you need more info you can always write to me [email address blocked] (no strings attached)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008): Well if you don't wanna go to gay places then just keep going to the straight bars and clubs! If you see a girl u like, u could just go up and maybe stand there for a while chatting to on eof your friends or something and maybe just say hi or something and start up a conversation and hopefully you should be able to gauge if she is bi/gay or not..
If you feel nervous, have a glass of wine first or something lol! Always helps!
Hope that's been of some help at least. Let me know how it goes!
xx Hope xx
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