A
female
age
30-35,
*if3sucks
writes:hey thereso i have a little problem in my relationship...my bf lives 20 min away but we go to the same school so i do get to see him and i stay at his place every weekend, he doesnt have a cell phone so i hardly get to talk to him when im not with him but his mom lets him use hers to talk to me for a little bit but if i ask him if he will get a hold of me later he says yes but then he wont hes done that the past two nights now...and i know he has friends and a life to but i just feel like when im not with him i dont even have a bf anymore cuz he never gets a hold of me... i mean sometimes he will fallow through but alot of the times he wont. I dont think he is out cheating on me, in the first month of our relationship though i did catch him texting a girl asking for pics and flirting with her and when i asked him why he did it he said thats just what he use to do when he was single so i asked him if he wanted to brake up so he can go out and do that and he said no i love you and know i need to stop leading girls on cuz i dont want to be with them i want to be with you...then a few months later there was a rumor going around that he had cheated on me this summer with the girl he was texting in the first month of our relationship and i beleived it without asking him if it was true so i went over to his house to brake up with him and he started crying and saying babe i never cheated on you she has been obssesed with me for a year now i told her from day one i would never date her (plus hes 18 and shes 15)she is just starting this rumor cuz she still wants to be with me and he just balled and kept crying, so i beleive him that he didnt cheat on me, im just still having a hard time trusting him since i dont get to talk to him much when im at home.so my question is for you guys, what do you think i should do to make this better because i love him so much and dont want to lose him.thank you!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Ages +, writes (2 September 2010):
Communication can go along way. Make sure you both know what the other wants out of the relationship. If he is willing to listen and let you know his concerns, chances are that there is a lot of potential for growth in the relationship. Make sure you are not just dragging some guy you like around, you deserve better then that. In a committed relationship a man should cherish you as a partner not a toy to be played with then put in the closet. Whether it is a committed relationship or casual dating is fully your decision, just talk about where you are at, want to be or go. If he wants a committed relationship, make sure he is committed. Hold him accountable, you cant change him, but you can decide whether or not he is mature enough to handle a serious relationship at this point.
Remember that relationships and trust take time to build. He must earn your trust, that is he must be trustworthy and it must show. Humans make mistakes, but its the commitment to growth and healing that determines whether someone is or is not trustworthy. Also, all deep relationships have to start with remembering someones name. So give him time, as your relationship grows he may spend more time with you and call you more.
Sincerely,
Peter A. Neerdaels
A
male
reader, MMAfighter +, writes (2 September 2010):
Well the first thing you should do is build up trust, you cant have a normel relationship based strictely on love or liking someone. If you can have a strong built foundation then the relationship might work if its meant to be. If you can trust him, stay with him. If you can't, dont let it continue. It will cause problems for the both of you. Hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (2 September 2010):
 He needs to stop doing 'single' things like texting other girls if he hasn't stopped already.
You need to think. The time that you DON'T spend together, is it a large amount of time (whole day(s) at a time) or a small amount of time (one to six hours at most). Small amounts of time shouldn't matter and in some cases neither does a whole day. As long as there is some contact at all. Some being, phone calls, e-mails etc...
You two actually sound like you're doing perfectly fine. There was SOME doubt but you do trust him now don't you?
You both need to give each other some time to yourselves. I know you love him to bits but, give yourself some time to miss him and give him some time to miss you.
I hope that helps.
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