A
female
age
30-35,
*_Mae93
writes:my boyfriend and i broke up thursday we have an 8 month old daughter together.basically i feel as if i was a terrible girlfriend. why? i was always mad at him. bringing unecery drama in the relationship. lets just say he works monday, wensday,friday saturday and sunday and he goes to school. when he hangs out with his friends i get mad. if i can't see him when i want i get mad. i was always getting mad about something. he never lets me hangout with his friends. i have asked him why and he said he don't mind for me hanging out with me if i would just get along with them everything would be fine. he said he tries for me to have fun and i never do then i end up getting mad at him. this makes the second time he has broke up with me pretty much over the same problem. i guess i get mad at him when he hangs out with his friends cause ever since i had our daughter i never have anyone to hang out with so that leaves me home 24/7 taking care of the baby and it does get really stress full. i went over to his house yesterday cause he asked me to, he cuddled with me. he wanted me to stay the night but the baby had no where to sleep. we went and ate. and then he said that he would see both the baby and i tuesday ( tomorrow) cause he dont have work or school. he said he felt good cause we wasnt fighting for once. i thought we would get back together but i was wrong he said he i didn't know because he wasn't the perfect boyfriend. how can i make things better? and make our relationship work?
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female
reader, Deagan +, writes (20 March 2012):
 He has the wrong set of priorities. He has broken up with you on 2 occasions because he wants to hang out with friends and you get mad when he does. You have a right to be mad, he's the one seeing his friends whereas you say you haven't seen anyone since you've had your baby. You say you're the one providing 24/7 care for the baby. How is that fair?
He needs to step up. He needs to realize that despite his young age, he can't go around partying like he used too, he's a father now.
Kyle007 is absolutely correct- this is going to be an on-going issue between the both of you.
This is the issue you two are addressing right now: He wants to hang out with friends, you get mad, you say you get mad frequently about it, and it has caused a strain in your relationship. You are blaming yourself.
Here is the issue that needs to be addressed: When is he going to start being a responsible parent to his child and start being a responsible partner to his child's mother?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2012): How do you make things better? By changing your negative patterns and stop getting mad at him. You can't blame him for not wanting to be around you if every time he is, it becomes an unpleasant experience. Would YOU want to hang out with someone who was always getting mad at you??
You need to allow him to be with his friends. They are HIS friends, not yours. If you want to hang out with them then you have to foster a friendship with them on your own terms, not just be a tag along.
if you have no one else to hang out with, then you need to make new friends of your own, and find time to be with them. the answer is NOT to insert yourself into your bf's social life, but to get your own.
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A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (20 March 2012):
Your reasons for getting mad at him may be legitimate. You have a baby together. That's party over- for both of you. If he is not making time for you and your child, then you are just going to get mad at him over and over again. This is not "drama". This is a real problem.
Don't get mad: get child support.
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