A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i my girlfriend recently just broke up with me.For the past 11 months i have been very happy with the girl i have been with. She is terrific and i love her very much still and care about her. I know she still has feelings for me but i can't help but see why i didn't see my self change earlier.In the middle of our relationship she had said that she loved me very much, but thought she couldn't give the attention i wanted from her. She said that we could still be together, but not be called boy friend and girlfriend because her mom said she had been talking to much to me on the phone. I cared very much about her and yes i admit sometimes she would not give me the attention i wanted, but i wanted to work things out with her and stay together with her. We are fairly young and the reason and she has been feeling guilty about us because her parents didn't want her to date until at least she was in college. I did not want to be dishonest with her parents and i said i wanted to ask her parents for permission, but she thought it would be better after school ended and before we went to college.After she had said she wanted to wait to have a real relationship she still wanted to be together, but thought that was shouldn't act and be able to kiss and be all physically close like we used to. My main problem and way i hurt her was because i did not have the patience to wait and asked to much for attention afterward. Being very close and being able to freely act the way i wanted with her was very hard for me and when she didn't give me the attention i wanted sometimes i would get angry or act in a way to provoke to get attention from her. I am a bad person, even though i have always done everything for her and tried my best to treat her good I had started to fall apart from her. I had thought if we were really in a relationship again we wouldn't have to be so secretive about how we felt and i would have never had that problem to deal with in the first place. However, when i talked to her about it she did not want to forgive me because what i did to her had occurred frequently. Although she was willingly to think about the notion of us in the future after school ended I can't help but think could have been closer to me at times. She was pretty sure that she didn't want to fix things with me, but she said she might think about us in the future. I really love her and i don't want to lose her.I want to stay with her, and I am willingly to wait for her and to give her the space she wants.I want to know how I can still make sure that she would want to resume our relationship some point later down the road. Can you tell me how i can change my ways and learn how to appreciate the attention she did give me and how not to be jealous and overreact about situations so I don't repeat what I did in the past?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): she loves you a lot, things with her parents are probably very complicated and it reflects on ur relationship even when she doesnt want it to. tell her how you feel that will set things for later down the road, maybe you two need time apart then you can show her how much you appreciate her attention.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 January 2010):
I think she was trying to spare your feelings. I'm sure you don't want to lose her, but you're too late. She's not the girl for you. Now you have to move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010): I think you need to decide to be happy with your life without her. Not give up on her, just be happy without her so you aren't needy.
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