A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been feeling really 'blah' the past little while, the past couple of weeks my boyfriend has been working away from home and we don't get to talk on the phone much, sometimes not even once a day. Some days I really miss him, others I wonder if he is the one for me. I do really love him but you know when sometimes you have self doubt and you're not sure why?I gave up a career to retrain as something else but at the moment I'm having a year out, I was unable to get onto the course I wanted this past September. I feel like a complete failure as it was a great career path and I spent years at uni training for it, but the job just wasn't for me.Money has been tight lately, because I'd only been able to find part time hours. I'm up to my eyes in student debt, and just can't see a way out.I just feel a bit hopeless right now.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2007): Hi Hunny,
When something changes in life as you said your b/f working away and your not having as much contact these negative feelings can come into your mind, And when you feel down about one thing then other things will pop into your head making you feel even worse, Your not hopeless hunny your just going through some major changes that has upset your thought pattern, Making you feel you should have finished this course or be doing something else to make you feel you have achieved something. We all go through this kind of feeling when a change occurs and we all have doubts and fears at some point in life, You need to get out have some fun with a friend find something that will keep your mind busy and put back that happy spark, Never think you are a failure as this is not true sweetheart you are worth alot more than you think so never forget that, This will get better and when you hear from your b/f all your feelings will come back.. As he has had to work away you are feeling alone so you judge your own feelings for him and get scared and confussed thats normal if you have spent along time with someone, Believe in yourself you are strong and this will pass and you will feel better soon I hope this helped a little take care of you with love mandy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2007): You are in the midst of ordinary circumstances that would get anyone a little bit down, but please interpret the career change as a positive choice to find something that actually is right for you, eventually, and hold off on other major life decisions for a while if you can. You'd hate to give up on the guy who's right for you mainly because you were depressed about the other stuff.In the meantime, try to find some certain and reasonable way to get positive emotional rewards on a regular basis--exercising, keeping things neat and organized, helping someone, or working on a hobby that feels like it offers growth without being excessively challenging. You've probably been getting those minor emotional rewards from your boyfriend before, which leaves you in a precarious situation when he's away.
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A
male
reader, ShyGuy78  +, writes (3 December 2007):
 Most of us go through bad phases during life and such phases make us doubt not only ourselves but also the choices we have made in terms of partners, careers, etc. The "blah" phase will eventually pass but if you don't keep a sensible head on your shoulders at this time many of the good things in your life will also be a thing of the past!At times when we strive for something too hard and miss it, the void created is devastating! It would be really helpful to be around your bf at this time. If that is not feasible then try to hang out with your friends! Get involved in constructive activities. The course was a big deal for you, still is, so why not get the course material from someone who is in and just prep up! Don't lose your focus. A year is not that long a time, very soon you will be on the course and life will be smooth again.Try picking up multiple part time jobs, may not be work you like but then hey, whatever little income helps!Cliched but life wouldn't be life without ups and downs. Your "up" phase will some smile at you and well, you have to keep yourself strong till then to return that smile with a "its about time!"!Wish you luck!
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A
female
reader, bqagirl2692 +, writes (3 December 2007):
 You need some time alone in an environment away from home to clear your head and get away from all that mess. When you feel stressed, you need to find an environment to breathe and get your head straight from all that seems to bother you. Go have fun for a while. You dont want to stress yourself over when your young. Do you honestly want to see gray hairs any time soon? Your not a failure and you need to understand that it is a part of life that we are given diffcult tasks to overcome. You are stronger than that and one day everything will come around. Keep your head up high and have faith that everything will get better. Take a nice trip alone, or maybe even with your boyfriend so that the both of you can spend some quality time together. Something the both of you need. Have faith!
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