A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My grandma passed away almost 2 years ago. I was her favorite grandchild. And at the time I just found out I was pregnant and living with her. (When I was 14, my mom started dating a man who would push me around and tell me my family hated me and my mom would do nothing about it. We were all living with my grandma at the time and my grandma kicked them out but let me stay with her.)I got really close to her because she treated me better than my mom did and loved me very much. She did everything to make me happy. Ever since she passed away, my life went to shit. I moved in with my boyfriend whom i was pregnant with and that's when I realized how much he looked at porn and that he had a video of his ex and him having sex. (from when they were together) I told him since it started to make me feel insecure that I would really appreciate it if he got rid of it. He said he would and later told me he did, but i found it again while unpacking tapes after moving. He said he didn't realize it was there and said he would get rid of it. I gave him 2 weeks and it was still there. So i decided that if it was going to be gotten rid of then i would have to do it. so i did, but a few months later, i found out that he rerecorded it over one of my tapes. (apparently, he had a small tape from the video recorder with that on it) of course, i confronted him for lying about getting rid of it (he told me like 3 or 4 times that he already got rid of it knowing damn well he didn't) and he said he wouldn't blame me for leaving with or baby. but i stayed, but since then he looked at porn more and more. (he had 753 pix of naked women on the psp i bought him, 55 porn movies and tons of free porn books that you order movies from)That was a year ago, and even though most of that is gone now, i still can't help but feel more and more insecure about the way i look and about my performance in bed. (i'm 5'3" and weigh 120 lbs, i'm not ugly from what a lot of people tell me... and not just my friends and family) I think more and more about my grandma and i have many dreams about my boyfriends ex and me kicking her ass but him always leaving with her. I feel like he isn't over her even though he tells me all the time that he is. How can i make myself feel better and trust my boyfriend? and how can i get over my grandma's death?
View related questions:
his ex, insecure, moved in, porn Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, supermum +, writes (14 June 2008):
you have to ask yourself this question.... do you want a liar for a boyfriend? you know he has lied to you once, and he will probably to it again...
why dont you find yourself someone who treats you like the princess you deserve to be treated like?
|