A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:He is my teacher. We have an age difference of about 20 yrs (I'm 18 and he's around 40), and he's married with two kids.I study in this same school for my whole secondary school life (as the 6th-12th grades in your place), and he teaches senior forms. When I was still a junior I never think of myself fall for him one day. He just seemed a teacher who is in authority and serious and difficult to get close to.Last year he became my subject teacher. In the first lesson he gave us an impression that he's a totalitarian guy and that really scared us, but as time went by I found that he's actually just pretending to be like that so as to win our obedience. He's a very friendly guy, and whenever there's his lesson the whole class's always surrounded by laughter. He's really a good teacher, and I don't know why but fell for him. I didn't realize it until a month ago. He always flirts with the girls (of course he's not really "flirting" with them, it's just the way that he gets along with us), and though I know it's not true I still feel very happy when he does this to me. I know that I'm not his most favored student (though I'm already a favorable one to him, but not the one he likes the most) and I never think of things like replacing his wife, but it turns out that I cannot bear to see him flirting with the other girls. At one time he told a boy that (his most favored girl) belongs to him, and I was really hurt at that time. I told my best friend this and she thought that he's kind of strong in self-control and is not likely to be falling for his own students. I don't know if this is true, but even if he does I cannot do anything but get hurt.I'm not demanding for his response. There's only three months left before my graduation, and all I want is to make myself a memorable student to him. Are you guys in a similar situation like this before? What did you do (and what do you think I can do) to make your teacher remember you all the time?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks you all for the answers. I've always been putting efforts into studying his subject (just like what you mentioned) and I'm glad because I'm one of his best students in class. But sometimes I'm just a bit over in his lessons, something like making fun of him. Most of the time he teases me back (in this case it's a happy conversation) but there were also times when he thought I'm not that respectful to him. So apart from my study I guess I shall also try hard to let him know I do respect him a lot.
Anyway thanks you all again. You are so supportive :-)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks you all for the answers. I've always been putting efforts into studying his subject (just like what you mentioned) and I'm glad because I'm one of his best students in class. But sometimes I'm just a bit over in his lessons, something like making fun of him. Most of the time he teases me back (in this case it's a happy conversation) but there were also times when he thought I'm not that respectful to him. So apart from my study I guess I shall also try hard to let him know I do respect him a lot.
Anyway thanks you all again. You are so supportive :-)
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (9 December 2010):
 Get realy really good grades in his class, I know teachers always remember their good students.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): Your feelings are very real but try to become interested in someone your own age. That way you will be much happier. Your teacher needs to keep a professional distance from students and could lose his job if he got any closer.
Try ways of getting attention from others in your life, because we all need a certain amount of attention. Talk to your friends or your Mum about it. The world will be opening out to you soon and you will meet lots of new people - maybe someone special who wants you as much as you want them!
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (4 December 2010):
 It sounds like you have a crush on him. I don't mean this to say it is unimportant, I am sure you're feeling are strong and it sounds like you really respect this guy and look up to him.
I am glad you are not thinking of things like replacing his wife. You know this would be wrong. Wrong to want him do leave his wife and children as this would destroy their lives, wrong for him as this would make him lose his jib, lose the respect he has in the community and possibly put him in prison for breaking the law of not being involved with a student. It would also be wrong for you as he would be taking advantage of his position if he were to get involved with one of his young, vulnerable, female pupils. This would destroy your reputation and relationships with family and friends.
There is a difference between liking a man, maybe thinking he is somewhat attractive, would make a good partner and enjoy having him as your teacher, and having serious feeling for him, and wanting a relationship to start between you. The first one happens frequently in any institution. People find each other attractive, but if one or both is unavailable or not in the position to be in a relationship with the other person, the mature thing to do is to achknowledge the feelings and do nothing about them. You see it would not be morally right. But you would not be the first girl to feel that way, if you do.
How to get him to remember you. If you are a good pupil then he will. You have to ask yourself, why is it so important to you that he remembers you? Is it because he has been a big influence on your life and learning at school? Perhaps when you graduate give him a small gift and card that simply says you are glad you had him as a teacher, he has done a great job and you've learnt a lot from him. I would be very careful though, with where the line between professional and personal is. He is your teacher so you must respect that boundary.
As for flirting with other girls, he should not be flirting with his pupils who are half his age anyway! If it is just jovial and not really flirting but more having a rapport then, do not feel bad when he does this with other girls. He is just doing his job. Part of his job is to get along with his pupils so he can teach them well. If you have a good relationship with people you work with, they listen to you more. But if he is seriously flirting with pupils, on the other hand, and telling guys they are his, this is not professional behaviour. It's abuse of his position and bordering on sexual harassment. It is one thing having a good relationship with pupils and another thing to flirt with them. That is crossing the line. Especially when girls in their teens are at their most impressionable romantically. I should know, I'm not long past that age.
I hope this has helped. I'm sure he is a lovely man and a good teacher and there is nothing wrong with what you are feeling, sweetheart, just be careful not to get carried away. No man is worth your tears anyway!
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