A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a USA citizen and Floridian, but right now I'm teaching English as a foreign language in Mexico. You hear all this terrible stuff about Mexico but it's completely taken out of context. I haven't seen any violence, I have friends I love to pieces, I have met people who are loving, kind and my heart is here. When I was a teenager my family moved to North Carolina, and I wound up there for years. Not a day went by that I didn't cry because I hated being there. I am not bitter at my parents anymore but I was very angry at them for moving to North Carolina. I see that they didn't deliberately mess my life up but I missed a lot of opportunities because we moved there. Now I'm an adult and they don't think I'm smart enough to make decisions about my life! They keep telling me that I need to ''come home'' and they think that Mexico is dangerous. Life is tough here but Mexico is really beautiful and I have loving, kind friends. I am absolutely in love with it. I speak Spanish almost as well as a native, I have a career here and play in a band. I never thought of North Carolina as anything more than a place to escape. I certainly don't think of it as home, and it makes me frustrated that they describe North Carolina as my home... like I've been ''assigned'' a place to live. It makes me feel like I haven't really escaped. I love my parents with my whole heart, but lately they have been driving me crazy and trying to guilt me into returning to North Carolina. I feel guilty because they are worried but I KNOW that North Carolina is NOT the way for me. I lived there for almost and cried almost every single day because I hated being there. I know that others want to immigrate to USA, and I hope I don't sound insensitive... I would help someone who wanted to immigrate to USA, but I can't help how I feel! Life in North Carolina isn't that much better, and I am happier with my life here. I am not sure if I am going to stay here forever... I'm one of those people that gets restless with wanderlust and I'm dying to see more of the world... but my heart is really here in Mexico. I hate the thought of being in one place and putting down roots and staying there forever. I studied abroad here as a college student and when I returned to the USA I COULDN'T readjust to US culture. I have also studied abroad and Spain and absolutely LOVE it... and the quality of life in Europe is better than in USA and Mexico, BUT Americans are discriminated against in Europe. I would like to go back to Spain but don't wanna fight to be in a place where I'm not wanted because of my birth! They welcome us with open arms here. I studied abroad and had these adventures and I'm not ready to settle down and close the book on adventures. When I graduated from college I felt like my life was over and then I discovered that teaching English abroad was a viable way to see the world and I felt like my prayers had been answered. I'm not putting the USA down and there are some nice Americans, but I really hated living in North Carolina. I feel torn because my parents keep saying that they're worried and I see that it's affecting them... and I feel guilty about staying here. I feel powerless to control my life! I wasn't happy in North Carolina, so I came back to Mexico, but now I feel like I'm forced to choose... stay here with the life I love, and hurt my parents or go back to the rut I struggled to escape from, just to make them happy? I love my parents but I am so hurt because they think I'm an idiot and don't think I'm smart enough to make my own decisions! The US media shows a very negative image of Mexico but I have seen a side that most other Americans haven't... and I always have a tough time readjusting to North Carolina culture when I return from Mexico. When we moved to North Carolina everyone told me that I'd fall in love with it, but sixteen years later, I HATE it. I adjusted to Mexico and Spain after a few days. I don't want to be tied down to one place, I want to have adventures and see the world. At the end of the day though, my heart is really here! Others have told me that if I'm unhappy in North Carolina then I should go to another state... but that won't make me happy... I can't imagine living somewhere like North Dakota or Nebraska. There really isn't that much difference, the only state I really feel at home in is Texas. I don't even like Florida, even though I'm from there. I mean this with all respect, I feel like I have the heart and soul of a Latin person.I really love my parents and don't wanna hurt them but I'm upset because I feel so trapped! Furthermore, if I returned to North Carolina they would STILL worry. North Carolina didn't have anything to offer... I couldn't find a job there, even a crappy job... I applied for jobs left and right and everyone slammed the door in my nose. I cried a lot because I was lonely and bored, I lived with my mother when I wanted to be independent, but moving out wasn't an option because there were no decent jobs! I have seasonal effective disorder and I became extremely depressed during the winter months. I don't wanna take medicine for seasonal effective disorder, and then gain weight and fart all the time (sexy, huh?). I just want to live where there's plenty of sunshine. If they could just come and see for themselves what things are like here I know they would have peace, but they won't come. They've been brainwashed into thinking that it's unreasonably dangerous here and they won't listen to me when I tell them I'm safe. They don't seem to care that I was unhappy in North Carolina! It makes me cry.No one should have to make choices like this... how do I deal with it?Thank you if you can help me... I know that this message is windy. I just need to vent! Thanks again.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2011): That's really a great idea.
Well, my time here has had its rough spots... you're going to have problems everywhere... and I made a stupid mistake. I had a stressful time finding a place to live and I wrote to them, venting about it. Now I realize that I shouldn't have said anything. I am totally safe but just had a stressful time finding housing.
Well, I don't blame you for wanting to come to Mexico. I hope that you get that opportunity soon... I think you can totally come here. Life is tough in Mexico but it's an amazing place and I think everyone should have the opportunity to come... thanks for understanding me and listening to me. :-)
Saludos desde el sur de la frontera
A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (6 June 2011):
 Write a nice letter or make a video for Mom and Dad SHOWING them your home, your freinds, things you enjoy. Do not talk about how much you hate N. Carolina or defend what you love. Just love it! You are an adult and earned this choice!Let them see you really happy! You made it sound so good, that I want move to Mexico! I have a lot of experience from my teenage years so I can picture all the things you enjoy! Unless someone lives it, they simply do not understand.Just like ANY country,including the US, there are good areas and bad areas, good people and bad people. Sounds like you picked a great area that gives you a great quality of life and is gives you a meaningful purpose in life!You can not make your parents understand,just like they could not make you love N.Carolina. Mom and Dad need a new hobby besides nagging you:)Best Wishes.You can only share with them what it all means to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011): Oh, a little mistake, sorry... it should say, I lived in North Carolina for almost half my life. I'm 32 and we moved to NC when I was 16. I instantly hated Greensboro. People told me, ''Why don't you just ADAPT?'' but I didn't want to accept Greensboro as my destiny. I wanted to leave. It makes me cry that my dad wants me to return to a place where I was so unhappy.I love music and I'm a guitarist in a band here. In Greensboro, I sat at home and played scales all alone and wished and wished for someone to listen to me. In Greensboro, I felt so desperately lonely. I went to a college where people treated me like a face in the crowd. I would lock myself in a restroom stall and weep silently because no one knew me or cared about me. I worked a lot as a college student and I missed out on the college experience of having a social life and friends. My mom was very ill and I was so afraid that she was going to die and I'm overjoyed that she didn't, but the horrible memories are still there. My parents fighting, my parents' ugly divorce, my mom's disease, the lunches that I spent in the high school guideance office crying because I had no one to sit with, my college days when I was crying out inside just for someone to smile at me or talk to me. My crappy after college jobs where all my talents went to waste. I love what I'm doing now! I want to move on with my life and I can't when those horrible memories surround me.
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