A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:If your 16 and have a baby, that makes you somewhat more mature right? My parents still treat me like a kid although I am one I had to grow up fast. They don't think me and the babies father can make doctors appointments and do other things for our baby. What can make them see that I have became more responsible than before and to let us do things on our own. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (11 June 2011):
 This is just their way of loving you and the baby, by trying to take extra good care of you both. Yes, you may be annoyed, but use that maturity to see that your parents are simply trying to do what is best for you both. You have a lot of growing up to do still, and this will help ease the transition.
A lot of teenage mothers get abandoned by their family and are completely alone. Their struggle is enormous. I know you feel put upon and like your parents are just harassing you, but it seems to me that you don't understand how lucky you really are. You will seem more responsible if you show gratitude and appreciation for everything your parents are doing, how they are active participants in you and your baby's life.
Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): "If your 16 and have a baby, that makes you somewhat more mature right?"
No. The very fact that you got yourself pregnant at such a young age just shows how irresponsible you are.
You should be grateful that your parents are there for you. A lot of parents would have disowned their daughter for getting herself pregnant at 16. I'm not saying that's right but show a bit of gratitude.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): "If your 16 and have a baby, that makes you somewhat more mature right?"
No, no it doesn't. If a 12 year old had a child would that make them more mature than 12? No.
You're their child and you are still only 16. Your parents are just trying to keep an eye on you and the baby. You're not an adult yet OP, so you're still in their care.
They're not treating you like a kid their treating you like *their* kid which you are and always will be. Just like you will with your child. OP all they're doing is being parents, that's what parents who care do. When you're 40 your parents will still be trying to tell you how to live your life and what you should and should not do. That's the nature of being parents, they do it because they care and frankly they've done all this before so they just have more experience in raising kids too.
Just smile when they say that stuff, they're not challenging your ability to be a parent, they're just trying to help. It may seem like they're being bossy but trust me, that's just them caring.
If you want to show them you're responsible then you just do that by continuing to care for your child and doing all the stuff required to raise it well. That's all and if you forget something they'll remind you and everything will be fine.
They're just trying to help OP.
No offence OP, but being responsible actually means taking help when it's offered, not trying to prove you can do it alone. You surely can do it alone, I have no doubt that if you had to you could. But raising a child isn't some competition or some kind of way to prove maturity. No matter how old you are every person needs some kind of help when raising a child and the mature responsible people will accept that help because it makes life easier for them and it's also best for the child to have more people interested in its welfare and sharing the burden of raising it.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger  +, writes (10 June 2011):
 At 16, technically you are still a child.
Just because you were irresponsible and became an underage mother, doesn't mean that your parents responsibility ends.
When you grow up a bit you will understand that. Parental concern doesn't stop at 18, it never stops, and right now, your parents have not only your wellbeing to think about, but also their grandchild.
Right now, you think that just because you have a baby, therefore you know everything and are grown up? Wrong.
Until you are no longer a child in the eyes of the law, everything is THEIR responsibility. If YOU mess up, it will be them who get the book thrown at them. If your child gets mistreated, they will be responsible.
Maturity is something that develops over time. Trust is also something that your parents need to have in you. Sadly, because you are a teen mother, your parents can see you have behaved in an irreponsible way (by getting pregnant) and no longer trust you. They are having to deal with the consequences of your actions, and no doubt paying all the bills for it. Right now, because of the trust issue, how do they know you are not suddenly going to relapse into irresponsible teenager mode?
So what if they give you free reign to do whatever you want with your baby. What if you forget to call back the clinic, what if you forget to arrange x,y,z? What if you do something and get distracted? Who will suffer? Your baby. Another person is involved here, not just you, and as parents they have a responsibility to be there and act as a safety net. Your life is no longer about Your wants or needs. It is about the baby. This is the consequence of your actions. Do you also want to pay for everything?
How much of the work do you do now yourself? Do you get up every time the baby cries at night? Or do your parents do it? Do you do everything for your child? All you can do, is show that you have grown up, understood you made a mistake and show them in daily life that you understand your responsibility.
Throwing a tantrum just shows your parents that you are still a child yourself. They can see that, and as 'older people' they have been your age, and got the tshirt. They KNOW how teenagers think - they were once one themselves! Have you sat down and TALKED to them about this, like a grown up? Or have you just huffed, shouted and thrown a tantrum? Because the latter will not get you anywhere. Asking for their help and advice, letting them see you want to learn, showing them you are capable will go a long way to gaining their trust back.
Until you get their trust, they will be watching like hawks, to protect you. They love you, you are THEIR baby. They really do not want to see you make another mistake.
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