A
female
age
30-35,
*eedy123
writes:So i'm in a recent LDR and my boyfriend will be going away for only a total of 6 months (and he'll be visiting for 3 weeks at christmas) and we have an amazing connection and want to make things work.We've had to be LDR before (we actually met online when he was in university in the US and just luckily happened to live close in real life!)Thing is hes been gone for only 3 days now, and barely talks to me - yet before he talked to me CONSTANTLY. Right before he left we were having issues, well i was, i don't think he noticed a problem. When he was here, my boyfriend didn't do anything to make me feel special, he wasn't the slightest bit romantic and I'm pretty sure now that it was because I was waaaaaaayy too into him.Thing is before he came home originally from the states, i didn't even like him that much, heeee was the one who was losing it over me, not how it is now! So basically I'm hoping i can use these 6 months to turn the tables back around, I want to make sure when my bf comes back he's the one whose pining for me all the time - not the other way around.What can I do during our time apart to make sure this is the case?So far since he hasn't been talking much, last night instead of waiting on his messages I went to a party and left my phone in my bag and didn't reply.What else can I do so he misses me/ is madly in love with me by the time he gets home?NOTE: he's in a very new situation that is a loooot more fun than his old one (housemates) so he's not exactly homesick just yet! (aka he's having the time of his life and im being left in the dust lol)
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (29 August 2011):
Hello again. Well, that puts a different slant on things, for sure.
So you've told me that it's short term, so that's a whole different ball game.
Teacher's College, and it ends in March of next year. I assume that after March, he starts actually teaching and that his study is then complete, is that right?
So that's not very long at all. Plus, as you have said, you will also be seeing each other in October, which is fairly soon.
What I said in my first post about being independent, unpredictable etc. - re-read it to refresh your memory - will always apply regardless, LDR or not.
You can't beat just being yourself, and being true to yourself and staying calm and relaxed and confident - I forgot to say confident in my first answer, as well.
Confidence is another very positive attribute in a woman also. Men find that confidence in a woman, is very attractive and sexy.
Being the best "you" that you can possibly be, is by far the most attractive quality any person can have. Just being real and not pretending to be someone who you are not.
Not only is it attractive to a man, it is attractive to all people - men and women alike, in all relationships.
I wish you well. It all sounds pretty positive to me.
A
female
reader, needy123 +, writes (29 August 2011):
needy123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni'm sure me and every other person in an LDR agrees that it is 100 percent worth it! He's visiting me in october for the long weekend as well ( he has school and is living 20 hours away so can only drive home super rarely) but i didn't count that lol.I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 years and we both agree that 8 months is nothing to give for the rest of our lives! No no once he comes home he's home for good :) he's just gone away to teachers college from september - march.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (29 August 2011):
Hi there. So do you both live in Canada?
And you say he's gone away now, for a while. What does he do for a living? Does he go away on a regular basis?
It's not possible to make someone fall madly in love with you, life doesn't work that way.
However, what men do find attractive, is a woman who knows what she wants, knows her own mind and knows who she is. A woman who can make herself happy in her own life, without expecting him to do it for her. A woman who is independent and a little unpredictable. A woman who will not be taken for granted or mistreated and will only accept the best for herself in life - and nothing less. Any man will treat this woman well.
Christmas is still another 4 months off, and that's 16 weeks! Do you really want to wait that long?
How long is this LDR expected to last? Is it just this year, or is it ongoing?
Depending on how you answer that question, it might help you to make a decision about the relationship and how you handle it in future.
The whole problem with LDR's is you just don't see each other! So because of that, you can't hold each other, can't kiss each other, can't make love. There's just so much that you miss out on, all because of distance.
No matter how well you get along together and feel connected, you DO need to be able to see each other. Most normal relationships are at least once a week minimum, or perhaps twice - that you see each other. Otherwise, it's really hard to make them survive. It's like swimming against the tide.
In the end, you might have the ask yourself the question - "Is all this unhappiness and loneliness really worth it?"
Have a really serious think about it, because it's you who is suffering here. Life is too short.
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