A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm 39 years old and my husband just turned 40. He's starting to look more like his father when his father was in his 40s and he's not liking it. He's not balding or anything but he keeps telling me that I'm aging a lot more gracefully than he is and that I get more beautiful each passing day. While I appreciate the compliments; especially when they sometimes lead to bedroom activities, it's starting to worry me his lack of self-image.We got married when we were 18 after a two year relationship and had both of our kids in our early 20s right after we graduated college. He sometimes jokes that he proposed to me so early because he "knew" he wasn't good enough for me and didn't want some other, cooler guy to steal me away. It would not have been possible because I knew I'd be with him the rest of my life and I was completely ready to do so. I wanted to and still want to.I make it a point everyday to remind him that he's sexy, intelligent, hilarious, a great father and husband, and I wouldn't have him any other way. I think it's the fact that he JUST turned 40 and he's not feeling as youthful as he felt since I was pregnant with our second child. How do I help him to feel more middle-aged sexy and not middle-aged, I'm getting older and there's nothing I can do about it...? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2010): You two sound like a wonderful couple. Just carry on doing what you doing and he will get used to the hitting his 40's
My husband is 50 this year, on medication, which I think is making him age quicker than he should. I love watching him getting older, He felt just like yours when he got to 40, now he is a few months off 50 he feels great much more comfortable in his own skin, I am sure your man will too.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2010): Sounds like you are a terrific wife and are doing everything right. He will adjust to being forty. Someday, he will l ook back and wish to be 40 again.
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A
male
reader, bournedout +, writes (3 May 2010):
Wow -- your husband should thank his lucky stars. Sounds like you are lucky to have him as well.
Seriously, this thing about reaching 40 is hard on a lot of men. I'm thinking that the way to work on his self image is to get him to discover/rediscover a hobby or something that he liked when he was young. Men get energized by accomplishing something. If he is athletic, maybe running or going to the gym. Maybe some home project that gets him excited. Restoring a car? I'm just shooting blindly here, but I'm suggesting an indirect approach. He won't necessarily believe you because you are his wife and love him (so you are not a neutral opinion). But if something else excites him and boosts his ego, then he may stop focusing on the middle age thing.
On the other hand, this may just go away with time. It typically does.
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