A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I am in a situation that I need to get out of before I drive myself mad I have been in a fwb situation with a man for a year now didn't plan it as this it just happened we used to see each other very regulary about two three times a week I have fallen in love with him and he knows how I feel about him we agreed at the start not to see other people then I found a hairbrush and hairslides on hiss cabinet in his bedroom so I questioned him but he denied it so I left it he is always accusing me of seeing other people when I'm not I have kissed a man in front of him onc to see how he would react we didn't speak for five weeks he never texts or calls me anymore and we haven't had sex since january so I'm guessing he is getting it from someone else so what should I do what can I text him to make him see how much he has hurt me and how I can end it with him I can't put myself through this pain any longer thank you for any suggestions
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2012): Sweetie he is treating you like his doormat why are you sticking around. If its an apology you are looking for this man is not going to give it to you. Let him go, you have to pull yourself together and keep your dignity intact, dont call him if he is not returning your text or calls that means he doesnt want to communicate. You seem to be so desperate right now and thats not the way to go. Delete his number today, get rid of him on facebook/skype, get rid of his stuff. Stop hoping that he will come around, if he does its probarly wants sex. Get over the he hurt me so he must apologise theory and move on. You need to start taking care of you. You deserve someone much better and you know that. I wish you you luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2012): "so what should I do"
Nothing you can do.
" . . . can I text him to make him see how much he has hurt me"
Yes, you can text him but no, you can't make him do anything he is unable or unwilling to do, especially when he probably doesn't know how much he hurt you and if he did know how much he hurt you, he probably wouldn't care how much he hurt you.
If he ever cared about you then he wouldn't have used you for sex in the first place and then discarded you when you became too needy and clingy and suspicious and demanding
and shrewish to be of any convenience to him anymore. If you try to tell him how much he hurt you, he's likely to blame it all on you for getting on his nerves and driving him into the arms of another woman.
"and how I can end it with him I can't put myself through this pain any longer thank you for any suggestions"
No need to end it with him, he's already ended it with you. I can only suggest you learn from the experience and exercise better judgment and discretion in choosing men with whom you want to have casual sex on an exclusive basis with no obligation or commitment otherwise.
Perhaps you might even consider abandoning the concept of FWB all together in favor of first getting to know and then falling in love with a nice stable loving considerate guy whom you'll know will be a compatible sex partner before you go to bed with him because by that time you'll know him as a person so you'll be sure he wants something more than mechanical impersonal sex for strictly ejaculatory purposes.
Today it's called FWBs; when I was in my early 20's back in the Stone Age (otherwise known as the 1970's) my late
parents' generation called it "Why buy the cow when the milk is free?" And that was before AIDS, when you could have random anonymous one-night-stands with total strangers and not end up dying from them.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have never asked on this before I have just came across it
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2012): you have asked this exact same question on this forum before WHY????
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