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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My ex and I broke up about a month ago. He's suffering so much because he loves me a lot and it seems he has a difficult time accepting it's over. I love him too, but I don't want a relationship with him anymore (we had many issues because he was too jealous and I think controlling and a bit abusive, too). I hate seeing him suffer, how can I make him stop loving me?
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male
reader, Kama  +, writes (30 May 2010):
 Those who say that abuse has no shades, and that you shouldn't care for this person are being a bit heartless themselves. I went through an awful breakup with a girl I had been with for several years, and I was on the other side - I was controlling, and verbally abusive at times (so was she). Those who turn up their noses to abuse don't understand that it is rooted in love, sick as it is. The only think you can do if he is really hurting this badly is to leave him alone. I know this - when I would hear from my X, (she broke up with me for similar reasons are you listed) even her voice, I would experience the most horrid pain. If you care about him, leave him alone; he must pull himself out of it (it took me years, but I did it). Hope this adds to things productively.
A
male
reader, Red Green 0289  +, writes (29 May 2010):
If you haven't learned that you can make other people do ANYTHING you need to. All you can control is yourself, not others... Why you care about this guy is something you need to work through- sounds like he's someone you should have pushed out of a car, and driven off, never looking back.
PS: There's no such thing as "a bit abusive", there's just "he didn't kill me yet" abusive...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2010): You can't make someone stop loving you, it's down to them.
Give your ex a break if he's having a hard time coping with the break up.
Maybe talk to him a little bit and gradually make closure with him
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A
female
reader, Jessmca +, writes (29 May 2010):
 Tell him the problems you have had with him and tell him he hurt you a lot and you don't wanna go back and get hurt again and maybe he might change himself.
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A
female
reader, bella1210  +, writes (29 May 2010):
you can never make someone stop loving you because you dont have a remote control that can change the way they feel about you. Dont ignore your ex stay friends with him and then he might relise after a while that he likes someone else or that being friends is a good idea !
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2010): i think if he was abusive etc. you should move on and not worry about him. let him heal himself and try carry on your life and let him carry on his life..let him be...try cut down all contact with himits not your responsibility to stop him from loving you..."love" is strange. it seems like it could him been an obsession not love
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