A
female
age
36-40,
*oley
writes:Theres this young fellow i like, and hes obviously interested in me as well because he asked me to be his gf.. but we were at a party and he was drunk, so i declined.. but we're friends who will "see what happens in the future.." Moving on.. he has this crush on some girl and he always wants to hang out with her, but i dont think she feels that same way... I think he's confused with who he wants. But he calls me and we talk and i return phone calls, so we talk on a daily basis. They barely talk. i think he's confused with who he wants. and my question is: how can i make him more interested in me instead of her?
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female
reader, coley +, writes (15 January 2008):
coley is verified as being by the original poster of the question I've done the whole "act like you dont care" business, but he just looses interest. so then we've completely stopped talking(this was in the past)and then he wants to start talking again after he knows it's official that we dont talk anymore... plus we have dated in the past, but we've broke up because of this other girl.
I'm getting frustrated, because he stopped talking to her, trying to pursue me i suppose,then once he makes it seem as if he is interested in me again, he then trys to hang out with his "friend" again. I'm wondering if he's trying to make me jealous, or if everything is just wrong with him.
my situation is a mess, i know.
I question the reason why i even bother with him...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008): Its possible that because you turned him down that time at the party that now he thinks you don't like him and that's why he is pursuing this other girl. So in that case you should just let him know that you do like him. But don't be pushy about it. Just let him know subtly and then let him take it from there.
But it is also possible that he was interested in both of you at the same time and he is just perhaps playing you both. I don't know which one it is. But it sounds like he might be a bit of a player because if he genuinely liked you and you turned him down he probably would not be talking to you anymore and he wouldn't have moved on so quickly. So to me it sounds like he may be a player. So be careful.
And the best way to get a guy to like you is to act like you don't care. Some guys, especially players, are the types who if they know you like him they will like you less. So be a bitch and act like you don't care. And by that I don't mean keep talking to him every night and say mean things or say you don't like him. NO. What I mean is say you are busy when he calls, and don't be so available for him. But at the same time be really nice to him.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (15 January 2008):
 This guy is dating the both of you and he apparently liked you more .You will have to open more doors for him and give him the chance to date and talk to you.
Though he maybe drunk , I think he is aware of what you said to him.He may have felt rejected and under the wrong impressions.
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A
female
reader, ButterflyKisses +, writes (15 January 2008):
Guys are actually pretty simple. If he wants to be with you - he will, and if he wants to be with the other girl - he will (unless she doesn't want him). Whatever the case, don't allow yourself to be the back-up girl. If I were you, I would try to be a little less accessible and a little more mysterious. If he wants you - he will seek you. I'm not saying to avoid his calls, or ignore him, I'm just saying that you need to become a little less predictable and more intriguing. Right now, he knows how you feel about him, now make him wonder.
Good luck. These are the best years of your life, enjoy them!
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