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female
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*ammyl
writes: My boyfriend and I have been together 3 years, he is STILL so insecure and no self esteem so he still wont trust or believe in my love, how can i get this to change?
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female
reader, iggyzap +, writes (21 November 2005):
he is the one with the problem and low self esteem gets the best of all of us at times but if this is a continous thing i would recomend that he seeks counsouling. it may even be a good idea for you to do it as a couple if he feels comfortable with this. sometimes its easier to talk about your feelings and discomforts without the other person there. i dont know what goes on in your relationship but remember that even though you tell him you love him sometimes actions speak louder then words so maybe you could try the little things like write him a saucy love note and slip it in his pocket or somewhere for him to find unexpectedly, buy him a smal gift (nothing expensive) but something he is intrested in. just something that says "hey when i was out today i saw this and it made me think of you" i always enjoy it when i get little things from my man like a single rose he picked up while pumping gas, and he ejoys my gifts as well. i hope this helps you. good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2005): I don't think you can. I have been trying with my boyfreind for over 3 years now, and I am just not making any headway. My personal opinion, leave or deal with it. I am currently dealing with it, but some days I am at my wits ends with it also. I think it is just a matter of time with me. I will continue looking for responses on this one, because I really would like some advice on this myself.
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A
female
reader, lulu-love +, writes (21 November 2005):
You need to sit your boyfriend down and speak to him, find out why he feels this way.
One thing i have learnt is that insecurity doesn't go away on its own, there are only certain ways he will be able to over come this. He may not even be able to tell you why he feels the way he does.
You have to explain to him that you are not giving him any reason not to trust you - and i'm afraid you may have to keep reassuring him that you love him and you are telling the truth.
Maybe the 3 years doesnt count in this situation, maybe he feels the same as he did when you were first together and you are both still sitting around wondering when it is going to get better.
Talk to him, listening to him and try and get him to explain!
GOOD LUCK
lulu x
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A
female
reader, Rebz  +, writes (21 November 2005):
I would have a very long talk with him. Chances are if he really does love you, he will see and understand that it's making you feel upset too. Try to find out if he has been hurt in the past, maybe that's why he feels he cannot trust anybody?
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