A
male
age
41-50,
*handy
writes:Dear readers who support this page, I begin my question with the story with my loved one and only GF.First of all I've been in relationshiop now (LDR) I can say relatioship is going strong even where far, we both committed for each other and share our future plans as will as to the point to be engaged in marriage hopefully next year. Everthing seems ok but my problem that bother me most is that everytime we got mis understanding why i feel empty and afraid that she will dumped me one day because she cannot take longer enough in our situation.In order to give you idea why i ask the questions is that before we will in the relationship i have committed to other relationship (my x now). Actually i feel and fade my feeling towards my x the time she will accepted me as a BF. tHE reason why i did not tel here that im in the current relationship that time is that because im afraid she will refused my love. My x relationship ended up because i cannot take the time im denying my feelings towards my x. I want to close and finished my relationship with my x but it was to late knowing she alrready found out and see my furtive but i lost her trust on me.We ended up pain from both of us knowing im so much inlove with here most. During those days i never let the days to be spent with out here until i win her heart back. She forgive me. We been together in two years relationship on and 1 year LDR until now.During the time she feels that im not inlove with her because she cannot get my attention. I admit that i was not totally sweet person unlike his x but im not showy in the public. And one of the reason also is that im not totally free. You know the work if your hiding somthing.Were both in separate county now. Last september we got the chance to meet after a 6 months LDR. I can say that our relatioship is going stronger. Because of the feelings and excitement how we miss each other unexpected plan was happen. The time that she will return on way going to another country is the time we know she is 1 month pregnant. We will shock that time both of our parents do not know wht happen, until we decided to raise the baby in her place where she was working. During in her pregnancy stage I felt that im mature enough to take responsible for all that we did, Im am ready for Parenthood since we are both 26 (btw). My love for her was not changed and day by day it growing stronger until now. I am willing to be his husband and ready for lifetime commitment. I see her bravery fighting on his own raising our child when i was not in his side. Things is going better until 5 months later unexpected incidents was happen, she is bleeding a lot. sHE will immidiately go to hospital to check what was happen, The doctor checked it out and found out that our baby was not in stable condition. The doctor advice to raise the baby on that time before its to late, if we will wait the exact date two options will happen, the baby will be save 50/50 or she might died. I was shock on that day until we follow the doctors advised. Our baby was raised but died last 15 of Febuary last year. So much pain is causing that time but thanks god we both recover. Even though of what happen im still they same and my plan for her was not vanished. I want to tell her that i'm still willing to be with her forever but im am far now. How can she know that im sincere. This coming July we plan to meet for our vacation. Sorry for the long story but i want to hear your differnt answers.Here are my questions.How to tell here that im sincere to my plans and my love towards her?How to tell her that I'm mature enough to face the situation knowing I am far and she was not see my love before when i was in her side?How can I make her believe that I love her so much knowing she didn't feel my love before?I am afraid time will come she will dump me and leave me one day knowing she thinks that I'm not in love with her? And why i feel so much pain when she said that im not in love with her knowing how much i value with her now? Is this because she lost my trust before and she did it feel now?How to tell her that because of the experience she undergo my love for her made it strong?I am not losing hope since we will plan to meet this coming july but i am wishing that is not over for her.Please give me advice before it's too late and give me ideas what should I plan and make this July.Until here, thanks for your patience reading my story.
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male
reader, NITRAM BLUE +, writes (20 January 2009):
 I will answer your questions concisely for now. Since you are my countryman, you can send me a personal message if my answers are not sufficient for you. You wrote a long letter and it seems you are quite worried that your relationship will not work out. But let us try to solve each and every question shall we? Here goes:
1. How to tell here that im sincere to my plans and my love towards her?
Since you are far apart, constant communication will do the trick. The world became smaller with advance communication. During the time that Fernando Magellan was alive, it will take about a year to deliver a letter from the Far East to Spain. Now we have different modes of communication – cellphones (international texting), long distance calls, web cam through Yahoo Messenger!, the traditional Hallmark Greetings cards specially the singing cards are so romantic, letter scented where you can write sweet nothings and your bright plans for the future and others I have not mentioned. Sorry folks, I have to say this in our own tongue, not being impolite or something - (Gawa kayo ng Friendsters account para makita ninyo ang isa’t isa tuwi-tuwina.)
2. How to tell her that I'm mature enough to face the situation knowing I am far and she was not see my love before when i was in her side?
You are mature enough. You have mentioned that you sometimes have quarrels. A Filipino male in-love will stand down and give way.
A Filipina is the most submissive creature in the planet, next to the Japanese woman. We cant beat the Japanese woman, they go to the extent of cleaning their husbands in the bath. =)
Submissive as she is, she appreciates a lover who is sincere, humble and supportive.
3. How can I make her believe that I love her so much knowing she didn't feel my love before?
You said it is going strong right now? Pick up the momentum. What ever is behind, don’t look back so you wont stumble and fall. Go forward and you will reach your happiness together.
4. I am afraid time will come she will dump me and leave me one day knowing she thinks that I'm not in love with her?
But you are in love with her, so don’t worry about her leaving you. Communicate constantly. Send her something you wrote, so she can kiss the name that you sign. Sorry folks, I have to say this in our own tongue, not being impolite or something – (Hindi basta basta na iiwan ka, may matagal na pinagsamahan kayo. Iba ang mga puti, kayumanggi ang nobya mo. Kung malapit ka sa magulang niya, isang malaking puntos yun.)
5. And why i feel so much pain when she said that im not in love with her knowing how much i value with her now?
The loss of a baby is a tragic thing but since both of you have recovered from it, then move forward. Both of you are still young, next time prepare for precautionary measures. Probably she was stressed out so she lost the baby. Your pain is no greater than her pain. She lost her baby. But you cant cry over spilt milk, move forward with her.
6. Is this because she lost my trust before and she did it feel now?
It is probably because she lost the child.
7. How to tell her that because of the experience she undergo my love for her made it strong?
Communicate if you are far, touch if you are near.
It is a surprise that your case is another testimony to support something I penned I few days ago. Some conservatives didn’t believe about where I stood, to the conservatives – “Listen up, yo!”
Things is going better until 5 months later unexpected incidents was happen, she is bleeding a lot. sHE will immidiately go to hospital to check what was happen, The doctor checked it out and found out that our baby was not in stable condition. The doctor advice to raise the baby on that time before its to late, if we will wait the exact date two options will happen, the baby will be save 50/50 or she might died. I was shock on that day until we follow the doctors advised.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/pro-life-vs-pro-choice.html
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