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How can I make a man want to marry me?

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Question - (30 September 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 14 October 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

How can I keep my man satisfied in our relationship? Including all factors.

How could I make him want to marry me?

ladies or fellas, thanks in advance! :-)

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A female reader, ShiShisAdvice United States +, writes (14 October 2011):

ShiShisAdvice agony auntRead every book on dating/relationships in your local library.

Must reads:He's Just Not That Into You & The Rules. Keep in mind the ladies that wrote The Rules are now divorced but it has great points.

If you want a man to marry you:Don't sleep with him. It's really very simple, yet so hard to do. Remember, even if you wait 3 mos. and he leaves:He was going to leave anyway! I know the next advice is hard, but NEVER make the first move. Men truly don't like that in the end.

The guy that married me was the one that I didn't sleep with.

My own personal tip: if you REALLY like him, bring him around your family, especially the men. They don't really do you wrong when they know Dad, or Brothers are in the picture. It's the "lonely/desperate ladies (me) that wrap their lives around a man that they run from"

Never, ever let them come to your place. Never cook an intimate dinner for him. Always go out. Oh! and you must take care of yourself. Your body/looks, it really is important to them. Be a girl.

Hope this helps...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2011):

Find the right guy - someone who shares your values, world view, interests, who has good healthy relationship skills (doesn't have toxic baggage from previous relationships). And whose world view and personal goals include marriage.

You can't make a guy want to marry you. You have to find a guy who himself wants to be married as part of his life goal, and who then sees you as a suitable partner.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2011):

I really don't think you can make a man want to marry you, but you certainly can make a man not want to marry you!

Whatever you do, don't try to pressure him into it, bring it up constantly, etc. A couple of the worst things are to come off as needy, clingy, controlling, etc. If you make it clear your goal is to get married, this tends to give the impression that you are thinking about your needs and what you want, not his needs and what he wants.

Granted, there is give and take in every relationship, but a man doesn't want to feel like the woman views him as being akin to a new car that the woman wants to "own" by getting married.

There can be a somewhat subtle difference at times between letting a guy know you love him and want to do things with him, and coming off as being clingy and pressuring. Let him know you love him and appreciate his good qualities and the things he does for you, but don't get upset and throw a tantrum if he wants to do something else.

There's probably some truth to the cheesy old saying to the effect that if you love someone you have to give them freedom and let them go so they can decide if they want to stay. Easier said than done, of course!

A couple other things that will turn off a lot of guys in terms of getting serious with a woman is bringing up old boyfriends, playing games to try to make him jealous, giving him the impression you're "easy", etc. A lot of men will chase a woman who dresses provocatively, flirts a lot, etc. for a short term fling, but not that many men want to get serious with a woman like that.

All men are at least somewhat different, so I can only give you my perspective. Ultimately you have to find someone who is a good fit for you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

we have been together for a year, known eachother for 3years. I'm so in love with him, and he loves me back, I just want to know how to keep him because he is the man I want to marry.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (1 October 2011):

Honeypie agony auntYou can't MAKE a man marry you, this isn't the 1940. :)

Take your time to find someone you think you can spend the rest of your life with, GET to know him. See where life takes you.

What is the hurry?

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A male reader, dougbcoll United States +, writes (1 October 2011):

dougbcoll agony auntbe honest,be yourself,other words don't put on a front. have self respect or ( don't be easy). a guy that finds a girl that is easy will not be out to marry her , but have a good time until he is tired of her and looks for another. have an inner beauty along with the outer beauty. inner beauty is something that will draw a man to a woman deeper than just the looks.

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