A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met my now boyfriend online about 4 years ago and we have talked pretty consistently. Going back through our earlier messages, he told me multiple times that he liked me but only recently have I shared my feelings with him too.The catch? He's in a totally different country overseas and I've never met him.I hear many success stories when it comes to long distance relationships. I also hear stories of how it didn't work out. But lets be realistic; not many "regular" relationships work either!We talk daily through text, some days on video chat or phone calls. I am very hopeful. After all these years, I really do think we have something. We plan on meeting early next year. All I can do is hope he is as serious about this as I am. I like him very much.Has anyone else been in a long distance or similar relationship? Does anyone have any advice? How can I make this relationship work, last, and go places?
View related questions:
long distance, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2013): Long distance relationships can work if you both want it to.
I correspond with someone but it's not romantic we are just friends. It is good to keep the communication going. I have to say that seeing the person is even better. You want to be able to receive some affection after being apart from each other. I hope it works out for you. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2013): Is your boyfrienddan in the air force by any chance?
Or maybe other military branch? Usually skype and other methods like playing a game together, sharing music or even reading a book
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2013): Maybe many "regular" relationships don't work out; but being a continent away and never meeting isn't the reason.
Long-distance relationship will not last; nor have a happy ending, until they become a "regular" relationship. That is the final goal, not the long-term intention for it's existence.
People need time together. They require intimacy and touching as a part of a balanced and full-rounded relationship. There is no substitute for the company of the one you love. Digital devices are just electronic tools. Not meant to replace real-life experiences.
People use the L-word too loosely and out of context. You can not love a person you've only seen on Skype, you've never heard their voice accept through a digital device, and the only contact is text messaging, long-distance calls, and e-mails or IM's. You couldn't reach or see the person it wasn't for Yahoo or a server!
These are all make-believe,and fantasy-driven relationships. Defend them until you're blue in the face.
That isn't love. That is fondness for a virtual image, and an addiction to messaging. Endorphins are leased whenever do anything that makes us feel good. There is a euphoria from these endorphins, that people claim to be love. It isn't. Chocolate and alcohol also release endorphins that make us feel good.
If you have the financial means to frequently travel long distances to meet. If you know, that if you commit to this person, that you can trust that they will not cheat or see other people while in a LDR with you; then you can make it work.
If you can accept the reality, that LDR's are not "real" relationships; that they may be a vehicle to connect to start a "real" relationship; then you are in the right frame of thought to enter one.
It will work, when is no longer a long-distance relationship.
That means, you are actually living together (or in close proximity) connecting as a couple. There is actual human interaction between you. No devices involved.
Actually experiencing in-person, the trials and tribulations of sharing life together. Appreciating touch, intimacy, smells, and exchanging glances while in the same room, without a screen around you.
Feeling someone's breath against your skin, a whisper in your ear, a long embrace, and kisses. Watching them walk through the door, while you waited in anticipation to see them all day. You hear their voice without having to tune up the volume. You actually hear the grumble in his/her stomach from hunger. The butterflies you experience, when they kiss your neck.
That's what a real relationship is.
...............................
|
