A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ive been with my boyfriend for a year and a half but yesterday i got drunk at a party and kissed another boy. I told him straight away then left the party and went straight home. My boyfriend came round , i told him exactly what happened and he has forgiven me, but the thing is i dont know if i want him to because he really didnt deserve that crap and how can i be sure i wont do it again? I dont know whether i want us to stay together. I did think i loved him but how can i if i do something like that but im not sure if i want us to split up so i feel punished and less guilty. Please help me im so confused.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007): jesus ignore that "you have some serious hangups and probably should go see a therapist." you are just acting and questionning like any normal teenager would
dont split up with your boyfriend he seems like such a great guy.
talk to him about it and how he feels about it and that mite make u feel abit more content
:)
A
male
reader, Dr. John  +, writes (11 November 2007):
 Drinking is probably at the root of the problem.
Alcohol will remove some of your inhibitions and has often been the cause of many various problems.
Although this is probably the problem it does not give you an excuse. If you are sincerly sorry for what you have done you should not put yourself in this position again or it will probably happen again. Doc
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A
female
reader, Mistify  +, writes (11 November 2007):
 Things like this happen, and you are right for questioning your love for your boyfriend.
When we are with our partners for a long , we start getting 'use to the situation', and we start feeling very comfortable. Maybe you kissed this other guy to see if you still 'have it'. I'm not condoning what you've done, but you need to really ask yourself WHY you kissed the other boy. Did you do this for some excitement? Did you do this to get back at your boyfriend for doing something wrong? WHY?
Once you've answered yourself that, you will know how to move forward.
If your bf really forgave you, then there is still a way to save this relationship, and that is by adding some FUN. You might just be bored.
If you cannot answer your question, then you might be having serious doubts, and you need to address that.
Sit your guy down, and discuss your feelings with him.
He seems like a great guy, to just forgive you like that, and doesn't deserve the crap - in your words... Either way, you need to make sure of your feelings for him. It isn't always that simple, i understand, but you either want to be with him, and just really did something stupid, or you don't want to be with him, and you were looking for a way out. Which is it?
Hope this helps girl.
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, Lizz +, writes (11 November 2007):
 You are learning early that love is a very confusing thing. I wouldn't even use the word love at this stage. It seems to me like you can't forgive yourself and that's why you don't think he should've forgiven you. The fact that you are angry at yourself for doing this to the guy shows that you do in fact care for him. You are saying that he deserves better, but don't sell yourself short. If you care about the guy (which obviously you do) and he cares about you (obviously he does or he wouldn't have forgiven you) then you need to live with what you did and try to move on. A lot of strange things happen when you're young and hormones are raging. The only thing that could possibly make it worse is DRUGS AND ALCOHOL. Honey, stay away from it. It's doing nothing good for you. It's already accounted for an unfaithful incident in your relationship. Stay sober and use your better judgement.
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