A
female
age
26-29,
*levatorgirl
writes:This is probably kinda shallow but i'm having a hard time trying to be sexy. People older than me tell me i'm a pretty girl but i always think they're lying. the thing is i wanna be sexy or hot and i'm more cute in a little girl way. i have a small nose with freckles, light blue sometimes green eyes, and shoulder length dark brown hair that i straighten. It's embarrassing because at restaurants i STILL get asked if i want a kids' menu and sometimes i think people treat me younger than i really am (i'm 14 but almost 15) just because of the way i look. and my friends always laugh because i swear all the time and talk about sex but it sounds funny coming out of me cause i even have a voice like a little girl. i dress with band t-shirts and wrist cuffs and boots but people just don't take me seriously. I thought the guy i like was attracted to me, but then i told myself who would like a little girl? How can i be sexy to guys when i look like a 10 year old? Any tips? How can i stop being so down on myself all the time because i don't compare to other girls at my school? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, xanthic +, writes (29 December 2010):
 At 14 you're not an adult yet, until you hit 18 you're legally still considered a child. Swearing and acting overly sexual does nothing but make you look ignorant and slutty, even desperate for attention. It'll make other people think less of you, no matter how old you are.It sounds like what you really want is to be taken seriously as an adult. Trying to be sexy at your age will do the complete opposite of that, because it'll be obvious you're trying to look and act older without the maturity to back it up. You'll be respected more and treated less like a child if you act more confident and secure. Dressing too provocatively at any age is one of the clearest signs of insecurity, it's as if to say 'I feel like my body is all I have to offer'. A truly confident woman doesn't need to show off a lot of skin, because confidence itself is very attractive. It'll draw people to you for the right reasons.You have several decades of being an adult ahead of you, enjoy being young while it lasts.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2010): Don't be in such a rush to be sexy, trust me cute is way better than sexy when you're 14, cute is actually way better than sexy at all ages actually. Why don't you play with it instead? I don't agree with the dressing to look older thing, no offence but it looks odd and makes you look younger but just trying to look older.Play with your youthful looks and dress cute. Instead of wearing band t-shirts and jeans, wear girly clothes that suit your style, skirts with leggings or striped tights. Try a little discreet makeup. Just go try different styles and clothes with idea of playing to your best features, and you might not think so but your best feature is your youthful appearance, you can find the right combo to make yourself look really cute and we guys love cute.Sexy = sex, cute = love and affection, teenage boys see girls that dress sexy as meat, but they see girls that dress cute as girls they want to protect, girls they want to be with.You know those girls you don't think you compare to, they try very hard to be that way and they have the same issues as you except worse because guys only talk to them with one thing in mind. You have a natural youthful appearance that if you accentuate can make you very appealing to guys, but for all the right reasons. Not just as some tramp that shows too much skin.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (28 December 2010):
 Ele,
1 Don't hang out the meat, you will only attract dogs.
2 The advice to dress professionally is right on target. Boots and band shirts say wannabe.
3 Swearing and dirty talk in public is not sexy.
4 Straighten out your attitude about yourself. You are judging people who are interested in you, based on your perception of yourself. That is neither fair to them, nor productive for you. You have to respect yourself before others will respect you.
5 Get out of yourself. Most young people tend to focus on themselves too much. Get involved in a service club, do things for others. Try to think about how others feel. This is the real difference between kids and adults.
14 is a great age to begin building relationships. To explore the world, get to know other people from other backgrounds. Don't get stuck in a rut. Don't get tied to one guy or one group.
FA
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): I know how you feel, I am 20 and I look like I am 10. I sometimes I think I won't find a guy, because I look so young. I think to myself who would want a woman that looks like they are 10. All I can say is wear high heels and some makeup. Also dress grownup, wear blouses and dress pants. That's what I do and that helps alittle.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (28 December 2010):
 How adorable. LOL In 10 years you'll be thanking your lucky stars you look young.
You're too young to be dressing sexy. Enjoy your damn youth! It goes by too quickly already.
I realize that when you're young it's the last thing you want to be. As you reach your teen years you start to feel more grown up and you want people to treat you that way. The truth is though, you're not grown up. You're still a kid. You should enjoy that as much as it sucks sometimes. There are some days I'd kill to be 14 again, drama and all.
My tip, dress like a professional if you want to look older. Button downs and blazers. Dressing sexy makes you look like a slut. It will get you attention, but the attention of horny boys is trouble. But, if that's what you want...
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