A
male
age
30-35,
*rax
writes:So I have recently gotten out of a relationship. In which time I've met an absolutely incredible girl, she has a boyfriend but always talks to me about how she is only with him because she feels like she owes it to him. She has come over to my house multiple times, and every time I go to make a move i chicken out. Have I forgotten how to flirt?What can I do to let this girl know that I have feelings for her without just straight saying "Hey, I like you!" I don't want to run the chance of her not feeling the same way and making things awkward between us. Even if I can't get in a relationship with her I would at least like to be friends.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): Firstly don't ever assume that when someone says something stupid like "I'm only with him because I owe him" "Or I don't love him but I can't get away from him" or any of the other bullshit excuses people make up, that they actually want to leave that person.
They don't. If they did they would have left, and all those excuse/reasons are only a small bit of the story and most often they're not even true.
Just use a hypothetical conversation of it, what if she was single would she date you kind of thing.
"every time I go to make a move i chicken out" You're doing it wrong then, you don't make moves on women out of nowhere. You can and sometimes it works. But it's better to slowly build up the flirting, by slowly building up affection. Touching is the next stage of flirting, putting your hand on her shoulder when talking to her, or your hand on her elbow etc.
Look man, she has a boyfriend it doesn't matter what she says about him, she's taken. She's not available to you. ow you can try and get her to cheat with you but you're just going to get hurt. If she'll cheat on him you, she'll cheat on you with someone else, that's how it works. You could end up going out with her for a while and she could be befriending guys and telling them that she's only with you because she owes you, or she thinks you're a nice guy and would feel bad about leaving you. All the while saying none of that to you and telling you she loves you.
Think for a minute, do you think she's told this guy that her reason for staying with him? No she hasn't, because no guy would be willing to accept a situation like that. That means she's playing one of you, if not both of you if anything happens. Don't mistake her intentions, her saying that is not an open door for you to try it on. She could just be confiding in you. She might have just been in a bad mood that day, who knows? One thing is for sure though. This will complicated and messy if you try it on with her and if you like her as more than a friend then you're just going to be crushed trying to be her friend and not having her. It's not a nice feeling to have a crush on a girl that you can't have, it's even worse when she says she's in a relationship she doesn't want to be because get you led on.
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