A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a bad relationship for three of the longest years of my life. I am only 20 years old and i have a two year old daughter. this relationship as been so bad till i cry myself to sleep sometimes. Now we live together everythings in my name and he pays the bills, but i want out of this relationship because it's not worth dying over. So please tell me how can i leave the situation and when is the right time? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2009): Thier will never be a right time to leve him. You will always find ressons why you carn't posibly leve him, Well at least thats what you will keep telling yourself. It will be, I carn't go because of this resson or that. Their will always be something.
How do i know, well i have been their and could potentialy be their now.
I have been in a realtionship with my boyfriend for 6 years now and i have been saying that i wanted to leve him for YEARS !!
Your boyfriend has been brain washing you. Makeing you feel like your imaging things and that it's acseptable to be treated like this. Answer yourself this, put your hand into a pot of boiling water, take it out, let it heal and then put just one finger in. I mean it's ok isn't it? it's only one finger right! WRONG why on earth would you do this to yourself. No amount of abuse is right.
He will never change, if he truly loved you then why would he keep hurting you? I bet he says he's sorry over and over again but truth is that he isnt if he keeps doing the same thing over and over.
Wether you know it or not, he has lowerd your self asteam so you feel like you possibly couldn't cope on your own. That's what abusers do to have power and control over you to keep you on your place. My advice is to reaserch on the internet, mentaly and emotinaly abusive relationships to see the facts. They have no resson to lie you, especialy as they dont know you.
Good luck
A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (21 July 2009):
 Sweetheart there is NEVER a right time.
You say the relationship is killing you so to speak, what has changed?
Did you love one another before or have you stayed with one another for the sake of your daughter?
Did your relationship change after you had her?
You are ONLY 20 so there is still a full life to lead. I don't really get why everything is in your name and he pays the bills, that is a little weird as normally things are in joint names.
I assume you don't work, am I right or do you juggle being a mum and holding down a job as well?
Sorry just trying to get a clearer picture that's all.
I think the first question is to ask yourself is the relationship truly dead and buried and no longer any feelings from either side?
If so, is there no way it can be rekindled? If yes to that then it is time for you to decide what you want out of life for both yourself and your daughter.
Do you have any family who lives nearby?
Do you want to work and raise your child on your own or with the support from her father with visitation rights?
Do you want to stay in the property you are currently living in and is it a possibility?
Have you looked into any financial help you could get from the state?
Look into all the facts before you make any life changing decisions and also make sure that you know where you stand before you drop this bombshell to your partner. Does he know how you feel and what your intentions are?
Does he agree to the fact that your daughter will remain with you, I am assuming that is what you want? Am I right or wrong?
Sorry for all the questions but I think a lot of things need to be ironed out in your own head before you take any further steps forward.
I don't mind trying to help any further if I can. I know the laws in the US are different to the UK but generally there are similarities.
BFN
Country Woman
x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2009): i see ur upset but you just can't end a relationship that u started because it's not fair to start something and to build a home with childrens and u say i wanna end this relationship that easily
if he's their father then u should leave the house or let him leave and if he is ur bf in the same time and not married then solve this problem and talk about it with him maybe you can get a solution between u two
if he's your husband and the father of the kids then u just can't say i wanna break up with you this easily because marriage isn't like having a bf !!
if u think that u can't take it anymore u have to take responsibilities of ur actions !!
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