A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear friend, I decided write to you because I need your help, and I cannot talk to anybody else about my problem. My problem is I met somebody a three years ago after I broke up with me ex that I've been with for about eight years. So when I broke up I was feeling really sad and lost cuz I wast part of my life trying to make things work for me and my ex but all he did was hurting me. So took me a long long time to get courage to leave him cuz I thought he was the right person for me my real love but I was wrong. So after that move to another state. Just a month after I moved to this new state I met somebody else that I've been with for three years. When I first saw him I thought he's perfect to his nice, gentleman, so protective and patient. He is a really good guy all wants is to protect me put on school helping me to learn. So all kinds of women can fall in love with him cuz of the person he is and the way he acts. So that really happened to me, but it was good really good for about 4 5 months then he started to go out with friends maybe three times a week and never taking me with him. So he said he was not used to having somebody with him all the time, and he never lived with somebody before and he asked me to just let him go out with his friends somedays and promised me that he that his never going to stay with another person. He said I'm perfect I deserve the best there's not another girl like me. I told him that it's not fair, I deserve going out with him cuz you were living together and I was and still doing my best for him. Also I said that's it's not right we're boyfriend and girlfriend just inside the house and for our closer friends. Thing is he has done and he still is doing the same wrong things to all this long time, and and the worst wrong thing was in V- day he slept with another girl that he met at the club, and on V-days was his second time with this girl.I always know everything that he does cuz we talk about everything and I make him tell me. I don't why I love and keep loving him after all that he does to me. I've been trying and trying to make him change the way he is and make him see that I'm the only person who is going to be with him like I do, but I'm tired, too tired to try to be happy tried to do my best for somebody who doesn't know what love means. I wish I didn't love him that much but I do and I don't know what to do. I know there's a lot of fun things and fun people out there that I can meet, there's a lot of people how wants to be my friend but doesn't want to be with then. I don't know if I'm scared to go away or if can leave without him, I really don't know what to do. I just wish I can have peace inside me and be happy cuz I'm tired to be hurt. He is younger then me but I know this is not the problem and he knows that too, but I wish I can have a real life with him or with out him. So dear please help me I don't know what to do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2009): I am sorry to hear that you dont respect yourself enough to get out of this relationship. I know it is hard. I was married to a man that thought that every man needed his nights out with the guys and that woman should stay at home and wait for them, with their arms open Never questioning anything that they may have done.I was in that relationship for a total of a year and a half before I asked myself if I wanted to spend the rest of my life being miserable. The answer of course was no. My husband was very charming and sweet, especially after I left. He cried and promised that he would change but I had already waisted enough time and Girl you have definately waisted to much time on this guy. He walks all over you because he see's you as weak. Be strong and show him that you are not one to be walked on, but that you are worthy of a real man. One that respects you and will treat you like you deserve to be treated.Everyone has a right to be happy, including you. Leave and go find yourself, and then, and only then, go find yourself a real Man!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Dear friend I just wanted to thank you for your help, I appreciate that.
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A
female
reader, kaylagal +, writes (3 March 2009):
 Sorry for what you're going through. I don't mind a guy going out with his boys every now and again, but several times a week, no. Sounds like you're at different places in your relationship. Him cheating/SLEEPING with another gal on Vday is the the most disrespectful thing a guy can do.
But here's my thing, it's not about him but about YOU. You came out of a long-term relationship and hooked up with this guy. I know it's easier said than done but break up with this guy and just spend some time with you. And once a cheater always a cheater. If he cheats, you take him back, he'll keep cheating coz he knows you'll keep taking him back. And he sounds like a worldly guy who likes to hang out with his boys, not to be negative but he'll probably find more tempation. It's not about what he tells you but HIS ACTIONS. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2009): sweety i think you should let him go. i kno you love him and i know what love is. but just think that you do deserve the best. i kno how it feels to have issues and nobody to talk to. but i think you should let him go because if he loved you he would spend any minute of his time with you. jus think that if this is what you want for yourself. you are giving him your all and he is cheating on you. you dont deserve that
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