A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don't know how my best friend does it, she's so confident when it comes to guys and I have no idea how she can do the things she does and is unfazed about rejection or anything! When I moved into halls for my first year of university we lived together, so that's how I know her. Anyway, when we're out, if a guy doesn't introduce themselves to her first (which they usually do) she can just walks over to a guy and starts conversation without any fear just complete confidence in herself. Thing is she is incredibly gorgeous! I know the girls here are jealous of her, but it makes us more envious how confident she is.She seems unfazed by rejection, I asked her how can she just walk up to a guy and talk to him (sometimes even when he's with a group of friends) I just find it intimidating and I couldn't do it. But she said to me 'you can't live your life in fear and worried about rejection, if they aren't interested it's not a big deal, you just move on'. It's great she thinks like that but I can't for some reason...It's good she's that nice confidence that is attractive because she isn't arrogant, big headed or vain she's actually really friendly and modest! I do admire her, i've heard her in conversations with guys and she's great at keeping it flowing, she's infectious that guys want to carry on talking to her and get to know her... So how does she get to be that good at conversation with someone she's never met? And how an earth do people get to be so confident like her and sure of themselves?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2013): Seems to me like you need some self confidence! your friend has plenty, thats all it is. If you want to convince other people you're confident, you first have to convince yourself.
Try approaching guys, not with the motive of hooking up with them or getting anything like that out of it. Talk to them as if you were talking to a friend. Don't worry about being flirty etc, act genuinely interested in them as a person and their friendship. You will find this easier and hold a conversation better.
Also, keep in mind 'what's the worst that could happen?' there will not be an avalanche if a guy is not interested. You will both make your excuses and go separate ways - then you move onto the next one!
Have some self esteem, I'm sure you're a beautiful person inside and out.
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