A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How can I know I'm with the right person? My boyfriend and I both love each other very much. We spend time together and have fun... we support and help each other in our careers. We both love cats and dogs and only want one child as we feel that's best for us. We both want a house in the same area. With both have the same morals and beliefs. Great physical attraction etc... However sometimes I feel like all these things isn't enough anymore. He's so ambitious and driven that I get the sense I'm holding him back. Of course he would never say that. I encourage him to do what makes him happy. But I can't put my finger on it. I don't know if we can work out together if I'm only mildly ambitious... I don't even know if my post makes sense!! We are together 3 years and generally pretty happy. I'd hate to throw it away but I don't know if I can make him happy and give him the freedom he wants to do all the things he wants?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2015): You say that you are happy together... But are worried that you may be holding him back it seems like you are wandering if you are the right person for him and not he for you. Are you afraid that you are not good enough and that at some point when he reaches his potential he is going to realize that and dump you?
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (22 December 2015):
 Why would you be holding him back? What is it that he can't reach if you are with him? He's driven, you aren't. That's common and probably very natural for many couples. You encourage him, you support his dreams. Does he return the favor?
You say you are "generally pretty happy." That's a bit, well, qualified. In what areas are you unhappy? What are the things he wants to do that require your consent?
If you're asking this, you have one or more reservations. I'm guessing there's something really big troubling you. Say it out loud to yourself. Then decide if you feel able to share it on this forum or even better, with a close friend who knows both you and him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2015): First of all there is no way that you're interfering with his ambition. He's responsible for accomplishing all the things he wants to accomplish and it sounds like you're supportive of his goals so whether or not you are an ambitious person yourself, it wouldn't hold him back.
He is most likely happy in the relationship, because he would end it if he weren't. There may be something else thats causing you to have doubts in your relationship, so it may be worth exploring what that might be.
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