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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi! How would I know that my new bf is really into me?He is a very busy person and I understand that he has less time for me. We are on our two weeks. We just went out for three times. Is it normal?I wanna see him and yet he can't make it all the time because of his very busy schedule. I wanna know if he is the guy that I've been looking for. He makes promises like he will come and see me at this time but he never does. It happened 4 times already. Do I have to believe? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2009): Ok well, he may say he's busy but if he Really likes you he will always find time to squeeze you in. Don't waste your time on this one. Find someone who wants to spend time with you no matter what.
A
female
reader, Kanae  +, writes (2 February 2009):
i think that you should give it a little more time and you should see somewhat of some results! My boyfriend is very busy and at first i was as i seemed to be last but i gave it time and it work out great!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): I believe if someone really care for you,they will always find time to spend with you.Its sound more like a guy who will tell you I was so busy I couldn't get time to call...
the best thing to do is to back off, and see if he even miss you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2005): I think its normal to what to know if someone is into you r if they are just wasting your time.. Back off for a little bit by not calling him or a day or 2 & see if he starts to wonder where you are. It will make you go a little nutty for the 24048 hrs but if he's REALLY into you, he will MAKE the time & go out of his way to make sure that you are "wanted" by him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2005): Depends on what his job is. There are some jobs (investment banking, corporate lawyers, medical residents, etc.) that have completely unpredictable hours. I worked as an investment banker for a while, and the thing that is absolutely maddening is that you know you can't plan anything, because you have no control over your schedule -- things just come up, and you have to drop everything to deal with them.
Instead of worrying about how many dates you go on, look to see what else he does. He might not be able tocome see you, but does he send you emails or text messages to say hi? Is he apologetic when he has to cancel? Has he tried to explain to you why things are hectic. If he's done any of this, cut him some slack.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2005):
"I wanna know if he is the guy that I've been looking for". Uh whats up with that? A little intense for three dates.
Look, even though women find it difficult to believe, there are some times when a work situation demands your all. I have no idea if this is one of them, but it is possible. A lawyer on a complicated case is not even going to be fitting in three dates, let alone the other 4 you tried to schedule.
Relax. Let him know you are interested in continuing the relationship if he is. And then just continue your life.
BTW, if he really is that busy then he needs his personal life to be easy. By seeming high maintainance, you make yourself less attractive.
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A
female
reader, lillaum  +, writes (15 November 2005):
 Hi there
Yes he maybe genuinely busy but he should learn to keep his promises. If he think's he may not make it then he shouldn't promise in the first place!
At this stage in the relationship everything should be nice and rosy. Do you really want to be with someone who puts so many thing's before your feeling's? He could save you a lot of heart ache by saying that he doesn't know when he will be able to see you next and surprising you when he can see you.
It sounds like he is quite selfish. Get out while you still can! Find someone that deserves you.
Good Luck
Lillaum
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2005): If he wanted to see you he'd make the time - forget him and move on...
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A
female
reader, shania +, writes (14 November 2005):
 I can understand if he is busy with work but what bothers me is that he has let you down 4 times already! you have only been with this guy for a short while,so dont get too carried away.I dont feel like he is keen enough and i wouldnt say he was the one,its far too early to say.If i was you,i would go out and meet other people,have some fun with your friends and dont be sitting by the phone with your bag on your lap,waiting for him to call.
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A
female
reader, samberries +, writes (14 November 2005):
If you are now dating, you have to let him know how you feel. I think that one of the greatest keys to a great relationship is communication. But do not sit down with him and then say "Lets talk" That may just scare him off. Maybe you can try chatting casually and eventually talk about things to do with your dilema, like how was work or whatever he is busy with. Make him feel comfortable at the same time and look into his eyes meaningfully then maybe tell him things like "Are you going to be busy next week? Because I feel that we haven't been spending enough time with each other." Remember to make him feel like he is wanted. Also, if he keeps breaking his promises, you may want to confront him. This MAY lead to further arguments and such, so be careful to not make it seem like a big deal if you REALLY want to keep him. Remember, make him feel wanted and wait for the right time to tell him. If you have a free night with him (or he has a free night for you) and you've noticed that he has been feeling tired, down, angry, or frustrated, try offering him a nice cup of hot tea or something before you talk to him. I hope this helps!
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