A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:For quite some time I have failed to find someone to love. Being 27 and gay in a country where homosexuality is regarded as a deadly sin, I could hardly find a way to find someone to fall in love with. Eventually, 5 months earlier, I did. He is 17, and he is someone who is, to me, out of this world. We can talk about anything. We're too relaxed with one another. For some time, we never spoke about being gay. He never said that he was, and I never said that I was. We touched, we flirted but that's it. A while ago, we started to kiss and then the whole thing. From time to time he feels guilty and he wants to stop the sexual part of our relationship. Then again, he moves in full force. The thing that confuses and breaks my heart is not knowing whether he loves me or not. I cannot tell him I'm in love with him, but I think he knows. He says he loves me, but we have come to agree that in love is different than to love. His parents like me as an older mentor, but I don't know how he feels toward me. I confess I've almost been a skeptic and paranoid, but still, don't I need an evidence? Sometimes he does thing simply because he doesn't want to hurt me (like hanging out) ... this tells me he doesn't want to be with me and doesn't want to hurt me as well. I text him and call him all the time and only when I get upset that he is ignoring me, he texts me something. Every night we speak endlessly, and he says I'm his world, but then there are those time where everyone else simply become more important. I only see him once a week and any other day, that he has free, he'd hang out with his friends. What the hell is wrong? Does he love me? How can I know? He's too sweet and too mature, but I can't just ask him because he;ll say yes and the donkey that I am, I will not believe him. I'm afraid that my jealousy and doubts are going to ruin whatever I have going on with him and I truly believe, he's the one.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 Ok you need to remember that he is only 17, he is not even an adult yet, and yes he might be mature for his age and thats great but he is still growing and still finding who he is in life, at 17 he is probably confused and isnt sure if he is gay or not, more than likely he is but he is probably having a hard time coming to terms with it and he might be in denial so try and remember that he is only young.
As for him being in love with you, well am sure he cares about you a great deal, and nobody can tell you on here if he loves you or not its only something he can do, but usually the way he acts around you should give you the answer, but am afraid if you keep acting the way you do you probably will scare him away.
You need to give him space to find himself, stop calling him and texting him so much, this is really clingy and its really not healthy for either of you, you have had trouble in the past finding love as there aint much options for you and now that you have found someone you love you are coming on way to strong you need to back of a bit and give him space to breathe, dont contact him until he contacts you, i know it is hard but just say to yourself i cant do this as he will run if i keep going the way i do. So back of and let him come to you. If he doesnt then just give him time. Goodluck.
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