A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I dug myself into a bit of a hole here. My boyfriend (now ex) and I dated for a few months before moving around the world to a very small town to work together. After fighting almost constantly (but also having a lot of very good times), I broke up with him. It was a very hard decision Now we work together, live next door to each other (though we have so little privacy that we may as well live in the same apartment; I can hear just about everything he does and vice versa).Our job and apartments are linked. Our bosses are our landlords. We are on a year-long contract. Moving is not an option without also sacrificing our jobs. I do, financially, have the ability to leave if things get bad enough, like if I feel I am in physical danger or something. I am worried about him. Neither of us have any friends here except for the handful of people we work with and we don't speak the language enough to go socialize. I'm dealing OK.... but my co-workers have told me they're worried about his mental health and potential physical or psychological damage he may cause as a result of a nervous breakdown (I am paraphrasing from them). He is scaring them with how he bottles everything up. As a result, they've told me a lot of things I think I'm not supposed to know (details of his emotional health and the like).I know there isn't anything I can really for anyone but myself, and I can't be responsible for someone else's actions and feelings. Yet, being the one who did the dumping, I can't seem to avoid feeling responsible for ALL of this drama and feel horribly guilty every single day. I've already accepted my role as "the bad guy," but how can I keep these feelings of worry and guilt in check? Anything I can do to help this BS flow a little smoother, without leaving/quitting my job?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'll clarify this question a bit: basically, should I try to check in on him, try to talk to him now and again and see what's up? Offer him someone to talk to in general? Lately I've been saying "hello" in passing and he doesn't respond to that (understandably why).
Or should I just leave it all be, leave him completely alone (or as alone as possible) to work through this stuff?
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