A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I want to ask on relaxation tips and trying not to be paranoid in a very stressful time in my life- here is a quick summary I got laid off from my last job(I work in HR(5years of experience with a masters) and I landed a reputable job in HR as a contractor in a prestigious hospital.Long story short next month makes a year contracting(I have spend hours- I mean hours trying to prove myself) trying to do my job non stop to the best of my ability and trying not to be correct. Four months ago my close friend(who I love dearly) got sick with anemia(she can barely move- eat and is in critical condition. Since she cannot work I am supporting her 100percent.I just found out in my current job that they gave a permanent opportunity to someone that had less experience than me . Since I found this out I'm paranoid- I've been looking for a job but I can't find one fast enough. I barely eat I can't sleep; I go to work and I can't think. My contract goes for another two months and then I have to see if I get extended. I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. I need to support my dear friend and I apply every day but I'm getting so worried. All the work I worked so hard for meant nothing; and I feel like it's a slap in my face. to make matters worse although it is a reputable place there is a lot of gossip and work and these are people that love to bring u down and get super scary,1. How can I keep calm in this critical situation2. How can I feel not Defeated when they gave my job the one in doing to someone with less experience and money( all the work I did went to waste3 everyone gossips in my job and I can see their probably laugh in in my back that I didn't get the job I worked so a hard for - how can I not let that bother me4 how can I be strong with this uncertaintkyAny advise would help; I feel so paranoid that I can't think straight
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female
reader, RubyBirtle  +, writes (8 February 2017):
I think I might have said this to you before....
Vinni-yoga and Mindfulness are some of the best ways of learning relaxation techniques but you do need to go to classes regularly to get the most benefit. Once you get the hang of Mindfulness there are tapes that you can use at home.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2017): When you are on a temporary basis you can be totally taken for granted,and also if your ethnic group varies from the majority.
You have 2 main points of contact.
Human resources and your union.
Your union is your first port of call for advice and collusion.
If you havent yet joined one then now is the time to pay your dues and sign on the dotted line as they can follow all legal queries or otherwise up for you.
If not yet joined get started now!
Then you ask human resources why you were overlooked for the permanent post.
Maybe it was a maternity returnee.
Gossip is annoying but dont be paranoid.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (8 February 2017):
 Hugs to you! You seem like a very earnest person and I think it's wonderful that you're doing such a great job taking care of your friend. Just a quick question though, where are her family and who bears the expenses? I only hope you're not the one who's her primary caregiver because that can get very stressful for you.
Now as regards your job, logically thinking there's not much else that you can do. Keep applying wherever you can and try not to get too emotionally involved with this one. You can give your heart and soul but ultimately in the place of work it doesn't matter because always remember, your employer will choose someone who suits the requirement of the system. You can be honest to a fault and perform the best but maybe they will still choose the person who panders to their needs and has possibly done a better job sucking up. Or maybe you don't see it but the other person has indeed performed better than you?
As for your colleagues, just ignore them. You have to learn to grow a thicker skin and not let insignificant people bother you to this extent. Remember, people only discuss those who're worth discussing. It's good to be sensitive but it's foolish to be so sensitive that you can't function because of what others say.
Do not ever feel defeated. Believe me OP, this is something very small in the larger scheme of things. You never know what life could throw at you. Yes, it can get very intense and hurt like hell when things aren't going well in the workplace but in today's competitive world, almost everyone is on tenterhooks. You can't allow these situations to defeat you... You have to fight and emerge stronger and braver.
You don't mention your family or a partner. Who do you have that you can turn to?
Never say die OP. Trust me, this too shall pass. Chin up and smile :)
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