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female
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anonymous
writes: my bf doesnt know of my previous relationships, i havent told him coz i never felt i need to, but he got to know of my ex through one of my mails i dunno how he got it but he was really upset abt it and i thought we were abt to split but we made up and we never had problems after that.at times i feel i need to tell him everything but i dont want to lose him and i honestly dunno what he will do if i open up.we share a wnderful relationship but is it necessary that i should tell him everything?i regret being in a relationship before i met him coz i know noone can be the way he is.i guess i was just stupid then that i got into relationships can i just forget my past n move on
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (6 November 2006):
 You don't need to tell him everything. Details about sex with other men are probably going to upset him. You wouldn't want to hear him describe sex with previous girlfriends either, its just not something any of us want to think about.
But you do need to be honest with him about your past in general. Honesty is important in relationships, you shouldn't lie or mislead him, including in this area.
There is a fine line between providing enough information and too much. Different people will have different opinions and advice about exactly what to tell. My personal advise is to tell a lot, as you never know what he may find out himself and you don't want him to think you are hiding things, plus being open can help your relationship become more intimate. But if he is naturally jealous or insecure be careful.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2006): you dont need to forget your past, everybody has past relationships they help to sculpt us into the people we are today.
its silly to think that you have done something wrong by having relationships before you met this person, I mean who was to know you would eventually meet this person?.
we all live our lives in the present not the future.
I really dont understand why your partner would be upset at th thought of you having had boyfriends before you thats just ridiculous!!.
Did he think that you had been sitting in a dark room , not going out, not having any friends or any life waiting for him to come along before you got together?.
I really dont know how to deal with this question I'm just gobsmacked that you feel as though you shouldnt have had a life before him!.
if he cant understand that you lived before he was around then get rid of him, he must be a complete idiot!!.
sorry but the truth isnt always pretty.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2006): I don't know why you would want to forget your past as it is a part of who you are. I don't understand why your boyfriend would be upset that you were in a past relationship unless you lied and said that he was the first.....so I am not sure how to answer your question except to say that no, you are not obligated to tell your boyfriend everything about your past relationships, and I do not even think this is great for your new relationship...you can just tell him why you broke up and how you are glad to now have him in your life because your relationship makes you happy and you feel blessed to have met him....he will probably calm down if you reassure him about your love for him....good luck sweetie.
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