A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm so worried and confused. I started college in the beginning of the year. My boyfriend started going to the same college, but only recently, this week. My college is known for being very expensive, therefore there's a LOT of unfriendly people there and people who only care about partying, not studying. Me and my boyfriend are nerds. We like studying and being good students. I chose this college because it's really good. My course is more nerdy, so there are a lot of nice people in my class. But in my boyfriend's class there seems to be only people who only care about getting drunk on all of the parties. That makes me extremely worried about him, because I have my friends and life in college used to be really simple and fun, but now every time we have breaks I worry he's alone. I'm really worried about him, but I can't stay with him all of the time. I gotta have my friends too. I don't know what to do. Worrying is awful. I don't want him to feel alone, but I don't want my friends thinking I'm one of those girls who abandon their friends when dating.I just want my simple college life back, all of this worrying is really bad. It was a lot easier when I didn't have to choose who I was gonna stay with.
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (15 August 2012):
Hi there. You don't have to be exclusively with one or the other, you know.
It is important that you also spend some time with your friends.
You don't want to be only with your boyfriend as your only means of social contact with the world.
Well, apart from your family, of course.
Why not have a chat with your boyfriend about this.
See what works best for both of you.
Perhaps you can see each other three days a week only.
On weekends and one day during the week, as well.
Then on say two different days during the week, see your friends.
For instance what might work with your boyfriend, could be weekends together, and Wednesday nights as well.
Then see your friends on 2 days out of either Monday, Tuesday, Thursday or Friday.
Then have the other 2 days on your own, doing whatever you want to do, or even to pursue some hobbies.
This way you get some balance in your life as well.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 August 2012):
 I am sure he is not completely alone. Even if that is all everyone in his course is interested in doing, I am sure he can join some clubs or go on the occasional night out with someone from his course without getting drunk. You have your own life to lead just as much as he does, and you should not feel bad about leaving him on his own, believe me distance is healthy in a relationship.
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