Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, chris-tier04  +, writes (1 May 2012):
chris-tier04 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI can't hear my gut feeling or I don't know how to listen to it that good.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (1 May 2012):
 I understand... what does your gut say... 2 out of three...
your mind is correct in this case.
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A
male
reader, chris-tier04 +, writes (30 April 2012):
chris-tier04 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy heart says yes but my mind says NO! I can't get it over my heart to leave her:(
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 April 2012):
Thank you!
She is right you have to love and accept her where she is. You can never be with someone hoping they will change...
but if all she eats is carrots she is very malnourished and will be very sick... but then most alcoholics are malnourished...
seems to me that you guys have a lot of issues that are not being resolved.
IF she did not change at all would you want to be with her?
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A
male
reader, chris-tier04 +, writes (30 April 2012):
chris-tier04 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes where very much in-love and still is but its hurting.This girl is the one you replyed to a month ago because a saw messages on her phone (we've sorted that out).But I sended her a email of healthy diets cause she lives on a packet a carrots a week and has been scipping class because she's light headed and wants to faint because of her "diet". She told me to not act like her parents and I then appologised. She later said we should take a break for the day so she can clear her mind and ithen I got very angry but I kept my emotion to myself. After a while I receive a email telling me I should love her as she is or get someone elde who I can change to what I want her to be.I haven't replyed.Ps. You have the best answers but I can't rate it cause my phone don't want to.Thanx C
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 April 2012):
so you knew each other and she left to go to uni?
RARELY do these relationships last and work out...
perhaps you can tell her that she is drinking too much for your comfort level (this way the problem is YOURS and you are not being critical of HER) and until such a time as she's better able to control her drinking you need to not be her boyfriend.
I know it hurts but we are trying to take care of YOU here... she's not the one asking advice
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A
male
reader, chris-tier04 +, writes (30 April 2012):
chris-tier04 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks So_very_confusedI admire your response and understanding. We are about a 8h drive apart I go and visit her in the term only once and she is from my town originally so holidays we are together all the time.What are your thoughts?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 April 2012):
you cannot inspire her to stop drinking.
you cannot even tell her to stop drinking more
you can ASK her but it' won't do any good...
folks have to be self motivated if she wants to stop she will...
even if you are together full time if she is an active alcoholic then you can't do anything about it... alcoholics will drink.. they will deny they have a problem... they can't see it... until they hit bottom and see it there is nothing you can do...
how far apart are you two?
how often do you see each other?
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