A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend and i have been together for almost 8 months and we are planning on getting married next summer. (he's 24, i'm 19) our sex life has always been great, except for the past few times when i've taken forever to get anywhere. we've been rushed, i've been majorly stressed with college homework, and i havent really been much in the mood. i never turn him down unless i'm on my period. his goal is to get me off as many times as possible and he tells me to be selfish during sex. its more about having orgasms than just making love to him (and yes the orgasms are great!! but i dont HAVE to have one every time because i enjoy sex with him whether i get off or not)i am always the one to show affection and carees him and enjoy the moment. sure he works me up for maybe 3 minutes, then it's off to pounding me. many times, he gets off way before i'm even close, then he stops, cleans up, puts on his clothes, and back to working around the house. he apologizes for not getting me off but doesnt do anything like play with me to help me get off after he's done. how can i initiate more "love-making" and less "just sex"?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2008): Well, he's not a mind reader. As with most problems in a relationship, communication is key. You are simply going to have to sit down with him and explain that you need more foreplay, affection, etc. to be satisfied. Younger men are not as experienced and sometimes do not realize that we need more time and attention to reach orgasm. The fact that he seems concerned about whether or not you climax is a good sign that he may be willing to put forth the extra effort. The sooner you have the talk, the better. Good luck!
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