A
male
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*eithym
writes:can anyone help? , I noticed that a lot of you girls have been chatted up in some random places e.g. cafe, the gym, at the supermarket. It is my biggest wish to be able to chat a girl up in that way as my circle of friends don’t know many women, plus I don’t hit the clubs anymore so dating sites is my only other option at the moment but I want to find other methods.. As a man I don’t understand what you can possibly say in those situations to start a sustainable conversation without sounding nerdy. I have it in my head that women in those situations would find it weird if random men came talking to her, as they would think that I was trying to ‘hit’ on her. I feel like I am being sleazy and just don’t know what to say! E.g. at a supermarket. I see your having Bolognese for your tea... then silence. I feel like I am so much more socially inept than most other blokes and missing out on the dating scene and time's running out for me. Do any of you ladies have any ideas on what I can say in these situations or how I can expand on a conversation that a girl would be interested in? or even ways in which I can improve my social skills with women would be great ;-) Reply to this Question
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reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (4 November 2010):
 Generally, by talking to that type of woman, she would have already guessed your intentions already.
It is not a bad thing, you are merely trying to be friendly but there are certain things to remember. First of all, be confident and make your intentions clear by asking a little about her. For example, instead of limiting your 'conversation' to "I see you're having Bologna for your tea" you could try asking something, for example "I see you're having bologna for your tea, is that any good?" and in the end you will be left with something to expand on. But that is a terrible example. Try a cafe and ask her about some of the food she's having which could then lead you to ask whether she goes there often which could then lead you to ask where she is from and if she is enjoying her time in whichever city you are in. It is very easy to start a conversation, I start conversations for a living, usually not the flirtatious types though.
Just go out and meet people.
I hope that helps.
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