A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, I am a successful career lady but my social life sucks. I have never had a boyfriend or sex mainly because I always meet rejections (maybe because I am physically disabled thus, less attractive). I do not believe in FWBs but a decent relationship. For about 2 months now, I have been talking with this guy who I used to like in high school. We talk about everything including ourselves and I have always told him how happy he makes me. He also sounds very happy whenever we are chatting or texting. I send him really sweet messages and he replies, sends me morning texts or calls me almost daily. My messages always insinuate me liking him and I do that on purpose just to see if he feels the same way. Surprisingly, he has been responding to them – though not with an equal measure of emotion but in the same line. I know he is shy and less wordy than me but I am not sure if that could be the reason. I also noticed that he does rarely call me late in the night although he calls me sometimes on Sundays – a call we both refer to as for rebooting since we are heading into a new week. I feel that he has made me feel happiness that I never knew I could and I have told him. The only thing I have not said is the obvious - which is that I have developed very strong feelings for him. We have plans for him to pay me a visit. The tricky part is that we live cities apart which means he will have to sleep over.Bad news: I found out through a friend that he is married with two children! He has never made any mention of that but I would think he could have found a way of discouraging my flirting with him.
View related questions:
disabled, flirt, never had a boyfriend, shy, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (25 November 2014):
 Well since he's married I think you need to protect yourself and walk away. Easier said than done.
whatever you do, do not be emotionally or physically intimate with him.
IF he comes to visit you make him stay in a hotel.
but I'm betting he won't come if you let him know it's not a free ride and there is no sex....
I do not know what your physical disability is but I am wondering if you emotionally hide behind it (saying you are not attractive because of your disability to me is a cop out)
He is not shy and less wordy than you.. IF HE is MARRIED He is protecting his lifestyle and his marriage.
IF he is married he's not honest.
He's not trustworthy
and he's not worth your effort. IF he can lie to you and his wife... well... he's a liar and an emotional cheater at best...
That being said.. I'm a huge flirt and I'm married. I will flirt with folks but the second I think someone is seeing a chance to "be with me" as more than a friend I mention my husband. I am not a liar or a cheat... I'm just a flirt.
there is a big difference.... sadly folks think that others online don't have feelings.
I suggest you ask him about his wife and kids... and then follow up with an investigation if he says there is no wife and kids... find out if he's a liar and a cheater.
and if he is, go the other way. FAST.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 November 2014):
 If you are looking for a relationship, this guy ISN'T it. Yes, he should have told you that he is married. Instead he lead you on. He even made plans for visiting? And he would have to "sleep over"? Don't you see that is not a good idea?
Now he may claim that he had offer nothing more then friendship through the texts/chats, but unless he is SUPER dense, he must be fully aware that you were not seeing him as JUST another friend.
Don't go further with this guy. YOU are setting yourself up for heart ache and maybe for a minute think about the family he has... If you were the wife HOW would you feel?
I would look around a little online to see if your friend is actually right or not. And if he is married, CUT the contact. Nothing good can come of this.
...............................
|
