A
male
age
30-35,
*idalwaveblue
writes:I've been feeling very stressed, negative and angry lately. I think I may have pinpointed the areas of my life that may need improvement. My faith to my religion and my family. I feel unappreciated and unloved. I've felt so lonely before that I think I just blocked off all emotions to keep going through life. I'm usually the quiet loner type in school and I used to feel great pain and loneliness in it but have learned to block it off and keep living. Im starting to feel more and more like a physical robot. My mind and heart is hurt and my body is starting to feel the pain. I wonder why I am so sensitive? What can I do to cope with this and unleash the energy I need to break through my barriers and achieve in the classroom, home, and life? I'm really confused, and my old methods of coping (reading the Koran and journaling) doesn't seem to be helping. I really feel lost and out of control. I want to say I need help, but I keep thinking I have to do this on my own and figure my problems out on my own or I can't live a normal life. Talking to friends helps for the time being, but doesn't get to the root of the problem. I don't like discussing my problems with my friends or family - I don't like bringing them down. I try to figure things out on my own. A therapist is out of the question (tight income situation). I really don't know what to do. I hate having to have no feelings and care for the world to survive. I want to be loved.So, to get to the root of the situation I thought about setting up a family game night on Fridays and reading the Koran for atleast 30 minutes a day. I'm also going to go to the gym again. Also starting guitar lessons next monday. That may help.So I guess I'm asking, what would you do in my situation?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): It sounds like you already have some ideas. Go for it! The activities will cheer you up.There is no need to do everything alone. Remember when you start to make new friends that if nobody made the first move, for example just walk up and start chatting, nobody would have any friends.
If you still feel sad - and give it some time first to see - then you can get referred for free counselling by your doctor.
It is good that you are talking to your friends about it. Could you also talk to your family? People like to help - it makes them feel useful.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): You have low self esteem. It is a real handicap because it affects every aspect of life. If you want to change it you have to work at it and you can't guess what to do. Start by doing the exercises on a website called MoodGym, regularly. Read up on low self esteem and cognitive behavioural therapy. There is a great book called "Women who think too much" and one called "Overcoming low self esteem". Read up on positive thinking. The way you look at your life is what makes you feel bad, not the actual things that happen themselves. You have to learn to change the lens you see things though and it takes a lot of patience. But you will develop self-belief and that is worth a great deal.
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