A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Granddaughter has been friends with another 14 yr old girl for many years Last year other girl was grounded for 6 months and phone taken for sending nude pics to a boyNow my grand daughter has confided that this girl has started giving oral sex , she doesn't even have a boyfriend Here's the dilemma .What the heck do I doI absolutely know I need to get help for her , but how to and keep my granddaughter still confiding in me.
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female
reader, Leeduck +, writes (1 December 2014):
Your post was insightful and helpful
I did deduce a scolding
Meddling? Will give more thought to that point of view
I was giving more thought to chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, hpv, and
Syphilis.
I do agree my first concern is my grand daughter , if I saw someone drowning would I be meddling to intervene or get her help ?
Never considered the moral issue, but I am here to learn from others experiences
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 December 2014):
 I am so glad you are the cool grandma that your granddaughter can confide in.
Have you asked her what if anything she would want you to do to help this child?
if you have custody of your gd and she can get her friend to stay overnight with her parents permission perhaps the three of you could talk about it and figure out how to help the young lady.
sadly I remember being a sexually active 14 yr old many many years ago and what an adult says is going to mean nothing to her....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2014): Your responsibility lies with, and is limited to, giving your own granddaughter guidance and advice.
The other child has her own parents; and if they took away her phone in punishment for what she does; they're good enough parents to be monitoring their own daughter's behavior without your help.
This is not a suicide intervention, it's meddling. Allow her parents to deal with their own child, and give your granddaughter advice on how SHE should deal with boys and sex.
Don't presume the other child's parents aren't aware of what their child is doing; and don't believe everything a 14 year-old child tells you. Kids trade sex stories to shock their friends. If you haven't witnessed anything, or have no evidence; you will make yourself certified enemies with her parents. If you presume to take it upon yourself to tell them what you were told. Your involvement may not be graciously received. Let alone losing your granddaughter's trust.
Do you know it as a fact this girl is having oral-sex, or you just have your granddaughter's word?
Why do you feel you have to do anything about it? If this girl is having a bad-influence on your granddaughter, that's where you intervene. Limit your concerns to the child in your charge.
Separate the girls, if your granddaughter is exposed to unsupervised time alone with boys; and/or spending too much of her time with the other girl. Otherwise, she's merely sharing gossip; and should look for friends who do things more appropriate for their age.
The good thing is, your granddaughter told you; because she knows it's wrong. So she already has proper guidance and someone to confide in. That's good.
It's time to sit down and let her know she may be spending too much of her time with a girl who is likely to get herself into serious trouble. The other child is none of your business. You can be concerned, but if you have the notion to warn her parents; you may end up with your head in a basket.
Unless a child is in distress, possibly contemplating suicide, under threat of a sexual predator; or is a victim of bullying or abuse. You have no right to intervene into moral issues. What you know about that child's sexual behavior is mere hearsay, and none of your business.
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